My Chemical Toilet’s Worst 15 Christmas Songs – Number 2: Newsong – “The Christmas Shoes”

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xmasshoes.gif“This song and video makes me want to punch an infant.”
So says a YouTube commenter of this song. I’m glad they did, because it saves me from having to express a similar sentiment, the result of which would almost certainly be me shooting straight down to hell with no eggnog.
I mean, flipping heck. This one pulls out all the stops. Following yesterday’s jolly little ode to death, this one amps up the tearjerkiness to 11 by incorporating the death of a parent, the grief of a child and the efforts of said nipper to buy his mum one last gift before the Grim Reaper carts her off. Merry Christmas!
Now, depending on whether you’re a granite-hearted cynic (hi!) or the kind of person who tunes into Animal Hospital for a good weep, this song will either touch your heart or boil your blood. You can see the appropriately mushy video over the page.

Like I said, I fear eternal damnation if I slate it, so it’s back to the YouTube commenters, where all human life can be found.
ejjeiip commented:
“Holy Crap! That was horrid.”
funnybob12 replied:
“Holy crap! ur a craphead!!!!!!!!! u prolly didnt listen to the song. if u payed attention there are a lot of videos on this so if ur gonna post a bad comment then atleast say srry but u r bad but just a Holy crap! That was horrid is the roodest thing ever! and if ur chuech knew u said that they would prolly be shoked! so keep ur bad comments to urselfe !!!!!!!!!!!! thats just pure mean.”
And there it is in a nutshell – the eternal battle between the evil yet literate, and the good yet apoplectic.
Come back tomorrow to discover what on earth could be worse than this:

[video provided by darknation]
[image courtesy of]

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  1. nymphomercial says:

    ‘The Christmas Shoes’ is the worst…song…ever. You MUST hear this parody called ‘The Christmas Thong’:

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