What modern-day pop memorabilia will end up being flogged by Christie's?

Music News, Top 5s / Top 10s

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pimp_cup.jpgDid you hear? With your ear? Christie’s, the people who sell things for people (what a lark – I could do that) are going to hold an auction later this month to flog a bunch of old punk tat for the first time in its history.
This headline makes it sound much more interesting than it actually is, with posters and the like making up most of the swag – but let’s not let that get in the way of the chance to ask: what tat belonging to noughties music types will Christie’s be selling in twenty or thirty or howevermany years?

Nelly’s plaster
nelly_2.gifNelly went from novel St. Louis rapper with good-timey party tunes like “Ride Wit Me” n’ “Hot In Herre” to dullard generoslush R(ap)&B(ullshit) dinkus, didn’t he? If you want to know when (some of) it all went (kind of) wrong (even though he went on to sell still zillions more records) it was at the (almost, vaguely, kind of) point at which he removed that plaster (or “band aid”, if you’re unBritish) from his phizog. I think if you do some maths you’ll find that means Nelly’s plaster is magical, and would therefore “fetch” numerous benjamins at auction.

Lil’ John’s Pimp Cup

Lil’ is quite the chap, with his jewel-encrusted pimp cups for the imbibing of sexy liquors. Already fairly valuable, this item is sure to rise to pretty crunk prices in the next fifty years or so. Start saving now, folks, and hide away your pimpy beverage-holders as a way of safeguarding your children’s financial future (or just go here and get a pikey “BE-OTCH” one for twenty bucks).
Britney Spears’s's’s’ assorted baldness-covering wigs
Before she ironed her brain back to normal, Britney was having a bit of a difficult time not so long ago – remember when she got her bonce shaved? Ah, but this wasn’t in that David Beckham, trend-setting, moving-to-LA kind of way – it was in a boo-hoo, talking to plastic-wrapped dolls kind of way. Thereafter she staggered aboot toon wearing all manner of chucklesome tonsorialities – my fave was the pink one. Or was it the brown one? I guess the blonde one was the best for Single White Female-style scares, actually. No matts – she’s all betta now, so we just need to hope she saved her various hair hats for future kerchingocity. A nice hairy little nest-egg.
Lil Wayne / The Game’s tear tattoos
thegame.jpgDepending on which endz you be repping, a tear tattoo either means “boo, a loved one of mine passed away” or “rah, I made someone’s loved one pass away by killing them”. While people seem to buy the possibility that The Game’s tears are cos of explamanation number two, I’d imagine folk are more likely to associate Ickle Wayne with the former. Either way, imagine the rapsters decided to scrape the tears off, still with a bit of skin underneath, ewww, and then put them on sale for rich music fans to buy numerous years hence when the original tattooees have forgotted how to rap because of the senility/sexy-jacuzzi-induced syphillis. Little bit o’ Loctite, and voila!
Chris Martin’s fair trade hand tape
Like a wastepaper bin half an hour after the unwrapping frenzy of Christmas morn, this particular lot will be quite heavy on the tape. Because that’s essentially all it would be – a wee box full of grotty bits of scribbled-on sticky tape that C-Mart sported and then discarded when trade did finally get fair (I think that’s due in October next year). MONEY FOR OLD TAPE.

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