Redlight rewards you with cheese, and you are advised to stuff yourself

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redlightWhile listening to Redlight‘s “Your Reward Is Cheese” mix, I unwittingly came by a new method of rating music. With it blasting through my “cans” and the light in the room fading, I needed to turn on the lights.

Rather than pause the music for 10 seconds, I unplugged the laptop and carried it with me to the lamp I needed to switch on.

That says so much more than a thumbs-up, I think.

Now look, this mix is forty minutes long. Which may lead you to thinkings akin to “hmm, I’ll listen to the first minute and if there’s any monotonous prog-house nonsense I’m fucking right off”. Or, “I bet I’m looking at my watch by five minutes in”.

My friend, I can assure you this is not one of those mixes. This thing is so unabashedly, relentlessly BANGPOP (?) that it chucks in Dizzee Rascal, Kings Of Leon, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Marvin Gaye, Eurythmics, Kanye West, Joan Jett… and that’s just in the first half.

Your Reward Is Cheese (Live Mainstream Mix) by TheRedlightRemixes

Every single one of the tracks is amped up for maximum dancefloor mayhem. It will make dance music trainspotters want to shit in Redlight’s record crate, and he bally well knows it.

And you know what? He’d let Mr Trainspotter defecate in it. He’d sit there, smirking from across the room, biding his time real relaxed, like; and then he’d saunter over and hand him a roll of Andrex for to which to wipe his bum-bum afterwards. And do you know what he’d do then? He’d take those angry, measly little turds and SOMEHOW MAGIC THEM INTO A MAMMOTH SYNTH CRESCENDO.

AND THE CROWD WOULD GO WILD.

AND THEY WOULD GIVE HIM A MEDAL.

MADE OF LOVE AND GRATITUDE AND CANDYFLOSS.

*breathes into paper bag*

Soz, it does funny things to one, “Your Reward Is Cheese”.

This came to me by way of Redlight’s Soundcloud page, which is a good place to sample his numerous splendid remixes for recognised bods like Two Door Cinema Club and Ke$ha as well as less mainstream (but no less bangful) full-length “sets”.

All in all, were Redlight a footballer the match commentator would be justified in remarking that he’s “currently playing a blinder”.

Redlight MySpace

Redlight’s self-titled album of original materialz, for free download

He also contribues to a blog called Our Electric Generation, the busy chap

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