I will not listen to music on MySpace ever again

Digital Love/Hate/Indifference

4 Comments

I am sick to the actual arse teeth of having to use MySpace to listen to music.

Even with a decent internet connection it takes more time to load a MySpace artist page than it does to listen to a Jimmy Page guitar solo. Then, just when you think it’s loaded, your poor overworked browser catches up with all the frustrated actions you tried to “execute” while you were waiting, and you end up down by the “THX 4 ThE ADD” idiots.

Until recently you then often had to scroll HORIZTONTALLY – shielding your eyes from grotesque banners the size of submarines – to actually locate that piece-of-shit, hasn’t-changed-in-any-noticeable-way-since-1912 “music player”.

FINALLY, you get to listen to the music. Oh, if the piece-of-shit piece of shit actually does what it’s pieceofshittingly supposed to. Which, quite often, it doesn’t.

After going through all that nonsense, the music you’re trying to get to needs to be puh-huh-huh-retty bloody good to make you stick around.

IT IS TWO THOUSANANTEN. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.

So I’m not going to use MySpace to listen to music ever, ever, ever, wever, bever again. Even for exclusives. Even if The Knife record a new album, and allow you to listen to it FIVE YEARS ahead of everyone else via MySpace, mine ears will not sample the joys. If a friend’s band uploads their music to MySpace, I am willing to cut them out of my life. I would rather consign a cherished friendship to history than go near that website again.

I don’t expect this to have much effect on “how things are done”, because only about three people read this blog. All I hope is that maybe one record company/online agency sort will see this post (and the comments beneath it if anyone can be arsed) and think: “HEY! Maybe I’ll put that artist’s music on SoundCloud instead, because it’s much nicer to look at, it’s easier to use and it doesn’t make users feel like they’re being raped in the eye!”.

And if an act has their own domain which sneakily redirects to a MySpace page, and I get caught out, I will not only never listen to them again, but I will do a poo in a jiffy bag and send it to their mum(s). THEIR MUM(S).

4 comments

  1. andre says:

    I love a good rant

  2. Dave says:

    I’ve been saying this for about a year, it’s so so so shit, in fact if you are a new band, being on myspace will make me judge you.

    Well said sir.

  3. z.electric says:

    Myspoace is a horror-train-crash unfortunately. Soudcloud et.al. are now doing everything that myspace should have always done.
    1. Less adverts
    2. quick find and play of music
    3. easy to imbedd track player

    What more does one need?

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