A message from 1984 George Michael to 2008 George Michael

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LISTEN TO YOURSELF, GEORGE.
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[image: RexFeatures]

Rihanna could punch you in the face and brand you daB

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rihanna_bad.jpgPeople keep trying to make Rihanna look ugly, but it’s still not working. Recently one video director thought he’d cracked it by removing her eyeballs. Fool. It takes a LOT more than a touch of ocular abuse to uglify this particular lady.
I mean, look at her here. Jesus, she’s sporting a ridiculous gangsta knuckle-duster and still manages to look delightful. I think the next step might need to be shaving her head and smearing her in poo.
Yes, that’s literally all you’re getting from this post. Move along now.
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What has Coldplay's Chris Martin forgotten?

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a) To take the tofu out of the freezer this morning?
b) The wife’s birthday?
c) Why he shouldn’t smear faeces all over the dressing room wall?
d) Other?
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Just how wide can Jessica Simpson's mouth get?

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Prettybloodywide.
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[image: RexFeatures]

Who won what at the MTV Video Music Awards?

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The MTV Video Music Awards took place yesterday in the United States Of America. Lots of stars turned up and walked off with awards, because that’s what stars do.
Click the star below to view a delightful star-filled gallery of glittering award-winning stars.

Is this the real Marilyn Manson, or a waxwork?

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Answer: it is the real Marilyn Manson.
He is obviously made of Plaster of Paris these days.
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[image: Rex Features]

Question: Which boob does Celine Dion prefer?

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Answer: the left one. Fair enough.
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[image: Rex Features]

Donny Osmond went all lunatic the other week

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You thought Donny and Marie Osmond turned out OK, didn’t you? Well Marie seems to be alright, but sadly the same can’t be said for the Donald. Check out this gallery of him going quite literally nutso on TV in a country called Northern America.
Donny and his sis were performing for a show named Good Morning America when his unfortunate unhinging became apparent. Sad times.
Click the image below to see what transpired…

Rod Stewart looks like some kind of beautiful old angel of rock

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If I look this good dressed all in white at the age of 63, with a hot younger woman traipsing around behind me and little paunchy bald dudes looking on in awe, I’ll know I sold my soul to the right guy.
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[image: Rex Features]

Has Ronnie Wood finished walking about here and there yet?

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Not quite, but he surely doesn’t have far to go now. He’s been going for weeks now.
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[image: Rex Features]