When you think of great music on chat shows, it’s easy to let your mind immediately wander over the pond. That said, the very recently retired Michael Parkinson has brought some wonderful music to our screens. Probably the finest hour on Parky was David Bowie’s fantastic rendition of Life On Mars. Watch and weep.
[video: nouvaeuxromo]
Just think how brilliant and original hip-hop can be. Think of the more-punk-than-punk NWA debut. Think Black on Both Sides by Mos Def. Think Quasimoto releases. Throughout the 80s and early 90s, there were so many great hip-hop records that it seemed like a genre that could do no wrong. The sound may have been samey on occasion, but like 60s reggae, everything seemed golden and innovative.
Then hip-hop took a turn for the worse and started to churn out generic bland dribble. One of the worst turns taken was down into Crunksville and The Dirty South. Wasp-buzz thin productions and lyrics so dumb that a brick coulda spat ‘em. This stuff is massive in the US, but to my ears, it just sounds like Casio keyboard gash. Over the page you’ll find Three Six Mafia keeping it real…ly dim.
Europop… kiddie rave… waltzer music… whatever you want to call it, is here and grating the ears of all it zooms past. It’s not big or clever and seemingly, that’s why people love it. Band’s like Scooter (in video below) and Cascada are like big dumb puppies injected with steroids and episodes of shows from Cbeebies. Europop mixes trance with posturing and occasional philosophy (“It’s nice to be important… but it’s more important to be nice”) and sends moronic pill munchers mental with abrasive keyboards and high pitched samples. If this type of music could be turned into a person, then it would invariably say things like LOL and RAVZORXS. It’s appalling, it’s huge all over Europe and should be taken outside and shot. [video juhani18]
What happens when you mix traditional Irish music with weak-ass punk and metal stylings? Why, you get US faves The Dropkick Murphys! Clearly, this is a band that could only be loved by the most simple-minded moo-brained American (they love the Oirish over there don’t they?).
Now, before you start – my old lady at home is Irish, and the very thought of this band makes her dry heave. Y’see, the American (at least a certain kind of American… some of them are very nice!) vision of what Ireland is… is… well… funny hats and being arseholed on St. Patrick’s Day. In essense, that’s what this band is – a funny hat that has got a little too giddy with excitement. Watch this video and behold as Clannad collide with the worst kind of rock:
[video BlackHigginsClan]
Currently riding high in the French hit parade is Funny Bear, with the mind-frying euro-pop reggae pap of Cho Ka Ka O. Now, to my eyes, Funny Bear isn’t all that funny… rather, an ugly little brute with yellow y-fronts on and some ear missing. It seems that this bear is actually a product of Germany, where he is known as Gummib
When I think of Japan I generally find myself imagining the future that I envisioned when I was ten. Basically, that means eye-stripping neon music videos of synthesized music, gadgets, robots and hoverboards. Japan has achieved all of these things apart from the hoverboard… which they’re probably working on right now. In the meantime, we’ll have to make do with J-Pop.
Cartoony gals bounce around and chirrup around in videos that don’t quite look real. Why J-Pop hasn’t taken off with the pre-schoolers of the world is beyond me. Here’s a J-Pop video par excellence by Aya Matsuura and it’s called Ne~e. Absolutely bonkers. Check it out over the page.
Once upon a time, country music was the sound of the people. Dustbowl ballads of hardship and unity rang clear in the Appalachian Mountains. The people would joyously sing Keep On The Sunny Side, and keep their eyes open for a break in the clouds. Then The Eagles happened. What we are left with is an insipid saccharine caterwaul that is to suffering what a penny chew is to nouvelle cuisine. The biggest band on the block at the moment are the terrible Rascal Flatts. You’re a braver soul than me if you can get past the minute mark of this video (unless you’re from America and have forgotten how good you all used to be at the music lark).
[video provided by mmusik]
How hard do you think you are? How far can you push your head in terms of extreme musical violence? If you’re think you’re tough enough, let’s have a peak into the dark and ferocious world of Gabba. Yup, Gabba (and the offshoots like Darkcore, Nu-Gabba and Speedcore) is big business over in Holland and the surrounding countries. Basically, Gabba is techno pushed the to the very limits of… well… everything. It’s faster, harder and certainly more difficult to digest.
On the Wikipedia page for Gabba (which they spell “gabber”), it cheerfully claims that “violence, drugs and profanity are common themes… perceptible through its samples and lyrics, often screamed, pitch shifted or distorted.” Gabba even has its own dance… the hakke, which is a treat. If you’re brave enough, watch the video below and relax to the delightful Extreme Terror by DJ Skinhead. Brace yourself.
Over in Japan, they’re musically famed for two genres. That’d be the eye-stripping cartoonish J-Pop (more on that another time) and Japcore. Now, Japcore (a.k.a. Japanese hardcore punk) is fast-paced, bowel-moving rock. Originally, it came about to protest the social and economic changes sweeping Japan in the 1980′s.
G.I.S.M. and The Stalin are the founding fathers of Japanese Hardcore Punk, and aren’t too bad. However, the new breed, incorporating heavy metal, thrash, grindcore and d-beat (whatever that is) make a racket that will make you wish you were born without any sensory organs. Here are the delightfully named Little Bastards mashing up yer lugs.
 |
 |
 |
