QUESTION: Where would we be without women? (Some women you may be aware of include Annie Lennox, Kate Nash, Paloma Faith and VV Brown.)
ANSWER: Nowhere. Literallynowhere. We wouldn’t exist. Nobody would. Literally nobody would exist. Imagine that. Imagine it now. Imagine it now with your brain, which would not exist if it wasn’t for women.
OK, I’ll calm down. The centenary of International Women’s Day is on Tuesday 8th March, and to celebrate a friendly bunch of charities – going under the banner EQUALS – are putting on what is commonly known as a “gig” at the Southbank Centre in London on Friday 11th March.
(Disclosure: I have “helped out”, in a minimal fashion, with the EQUALS campaign.)
The bill for EQUALS Live will feature absolutely no men in skinny jeans*, and will instead showcase the womanly talents of Kate Nash, Paloma Faith, VV Brown (pictured, giving her answer to the question: “When will we know men and women are equal?”) and the ceaselessly caring Annie Lennox (International Women’s Day is kind of A-Len’s baby).
Tickets for EQUALS Live cost between £30 – £50 and are going faster than Annie Lennox’s hair colour use to change back she was a Eurythmic.
N-Dubz appeared on Chris Moyles’s riot of a radio show
A lady called Chloe txtd the show calling Dappy – who was once given a suspended jail sentence after spitting in a girl’s face – “a vile little boy with a hat” (LOL)
Dappy – who became a father in 2009 – surreptitiously noted Chloe’s number down, tried to call her and sent her swear-y, death threat-y text messages
Outcry, apologies from management, etc etc etc
Dappy – who is five feet three inches tall, which may/may not explain rather a lot – has subsequently been dropped from a campaign by charity Beatbullying
While Dappy’s behaviour was rather naughty, one has to applaud the fact that he managed to get N-Dubz’s trademark catchphrase into one of his succinct missives. Here’s the one I’m talking about:
u dum f****** dickhead u can call me names over the radio but when I call u direct u chicken out u punk!nana fucking niiiii, Dappy.
I’ll skip over the fact that pop star Dappy signed his threatening text with his name, because that’s a mistake anyone could make. It’s the “nana fucking niiiii” that interests me.
“Nana niii” (you’ll have to excuse me if my spelling is incorrect, I looked it up in the dictionary but it weren’t there – possibly because it doesn’t actually mean anything) is the cry you can hear on many N-Dubz songs, allowing you to identify them easily lest you think you’re listening to John Mayer.
Here are some young N-Dubz fans taking some time out from getting pregnant to share their rendition of “Nana niii”:
It’s a canny thing, an aural trademark, and to take it into other areas of your life – as Dappy has – shows a determination to extend his/N-Dubz’s brand identity sadly lacking in the majority of pop stars. It also leads you to suspect that Dappy sees “Nana niii” as so synonymous with his sense of self that he employs it anywhere and everywhere.
The butcher, the cobbler, the librarian – I’m guessing all have had a taste of “Nana niii”. Indeed perhaps Dappy – not the most gifted of communicators, as we’ve seen – dispenses with all other words if a “Nana niii” will do.
“Ah, you’ve brought back the Milan Kundera book at last, Dappy. I’m afraid it’s two years overdue, so there’s a fine of
Stuart Waterman on
Monday January 18th, 2010 at
It’s a new month! This one’s called October. And with this Octoberishly-named month comes a bunch of new Levi’s Ones To Watch residencies, where you can go and see numerous acts of an up-and-coming nature in various Londontown hostelries.
The October batch of shows includes future stars/cabbies such as Citadels, Exlovers, Kurran And The Wolfnotes, Young Rebel Set, Turboweekend and presumed GCSE French flunkers, Ou Est Le Swimming Pool.
Also on board are Mirrors, whose “Look At Me” is playing in a YouTube embedded video near you. Like, really near you. Like, here:
Mirrors play Camden Barfly on October 15th alongside Young Rebel Set and Turboweekend. The first show is this Thursday 8th at The Macbeth and has Citadels, Dansette Junior and language remedials Ou Est Le Swimming Pool.
Riton & Primary 1′s original dose of acid-para bounciness soundtracked, at a guess, 34,10413412.3 clammy-palmed comedowns in ‘Beefa this summer, and now it’s been given a (limited) new lease of life thanks to a verse from Wiley.
He does give it a nice splurge of urgency, a la “Rolex”, but why is his contribution – and indeed the song as a whole – so short?
Oh well, I’m sure a krillian more remixes will emerge to give us a proper go at those acid house synfs. Until then:
Already one of those groups that polarises opinion, I’m hoping Alphabeat haven’t tipped over into ubiquitous loathsomeness on account of that dreadful Diet Coke advert they soundtrack. I can’t tell you how much I hate that fucking ad.
“The Spell”, their new single, has a distinct late-80s vibe garnishing a predictably sugar-sweet pop hook. It’s brilliant, and if you don’t like it you deserve to be made to listen to Snow Patrol for the rest of your drearsome days.
After the initial giddy rush of realisation that Chromeo are finally back – and the “of course!” headslap when you realise they’ve jacked Survivor’s “Eye Of The Tiger” – does “Night By Night” live up to the anticipation?
The verses are very similar to “Rage”, and you’d have to say it’s not a huge departure from their previous stuff. But, you know, not enough people heard their previous stuff – so if they’re after proper, people-actually-buying-your-records success, “Night By Night” is a promising indication that the new album is going to be chock-full of the tunes, electro funk and
Stuart Waterman on
Monday September 21st, 2009 at
This is thevideo for The Cribs’ new single, “Cheat On Me”. I’ve literally only heard this song twice at the time of writing, but I loves it, I do.
Or at least, I loves the second half of it. The first half I spent thinking “hmm, this isn’t as good as the stuff from the last album, which I enjoyed enormously and made me feel reasonably cool when I dropped it into conversation with people much younger than I.”
But stick around – once the neck vein-bursting “cheeeat on me” bit makes an appearance it all becomes much more engaging.
That bloke from The Smiths is in the video too, because he’s part of The Cribs now. His presence may distract you from the presence of a modern trouser-related phenomenon known as “parsnip-leggedness”, which can be spotted on other members of the band.