Who could play Slash in the movie adaptation of his autobiography?

Music News, Top 5s / Top 10s

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slash.gifRumours are abounding that Slash’s fabulous-sounding autobiography – and if anyone wants to send me a copy, please feel free – could be made into a film. Sadly he reckons he’d need to change the names of the famous and guilty, but I don’t think that would matter. We’d be able to work out who the ginger egomaniac in the white cycling shorts is supposed to be.
So, with that in mind, who would make the ideal Slash? Or “character based on Saul Hudson”? I’ve wittled down the top 872 contenders to an elite of 5. They are:
Russell Brand
I’ve been hearing for about 12 years that he’s supposed to be playing a rock star in some Hollywood film or other. Add to that his own adventures in druggy shagging, and you have a serious, big-haired contender. May need to bulk up a touch.
Sir Anthony Hopkins
This guy can do the whole lot! I can see him with the fag, shades and frightwig right now. And I would dearly, dearly love to see him do the whole “tiny little men with guns in the lounge” hallucination episode.

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Halloween Bandwagon: The Top 10 Scariest Children In Music

Top 5s / Top 10s, Video

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aaroncarter.gifLike Christmas, and the future, Halloween is really a time for the children. It is a time when they get to dress up, annoy people and get sweets for their trouble. That’s a pretty good deal if you’re a kid.
If you’re not a kid – and are not suffering from a severe case of arrested development – it’s all a bit of a drag. Or is that just me? ANYWAY. With children and fear the main elements in any good (bad) Halloween, here, in no particular order because I can’t really be bothered, are the top 10 freakiest little blighters in music.

Aaron Carter

MOST. TEUTONIC. NIPPER. EVER (pictured right).
Kriss Kross
Aw, look at the wittle rapping boys. How cu- WAIT! HALF OF THEIR BODIES ARE THE WRONG WAY ROUND!
Vanessa Paradis
I remember when “Joe Le Taxi” came out. It was OK for me to fancy the French popstrel, because I was – well, let’s just say I was at an age when I was allowed to fancy schoolgirls. I’m guessing there were a fair few older men who didn’t feel quite as shameless in their admiration for the now Mrs. Depp.
St. Winifred’s School Choir
If I was a Grandparent, this would constitute too much love for me to bear. Needy little gits.
Lil Chris
I have a grown-up colleague who fancies him. And not even the new, voice-broken version – the young, squeaky-voiced incarnation. Ew.

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Top 5 Ways of discovering new music online (that aren't iTunes, MySpace, Pandora or Last.fm)

Top 5s / Top 10s

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I don’t proclaim to be a particularly techy sort – if I was I’d be writing here instead – but one thing I am fascinated by is the number of ways you can find and listen to new music online. It seems like every month a number of decent new web applications pop up specifically to benefit people who want to discover and enjoy music they haven’t heard before.
In a move that will quite possibly enrage anyone who uses sites that aren’t listed below, here is my ridiculously reductive list of cool ways to discover new music online (I’ve excluded iTunes, MySpace, Pandora or Last.fm because they’re pretty well-known by now):

1. The Hype Machine

As far as bloggers and their readers go, this is the daddy. It indexes hundreds of MP3 blogs, and, more importantly, the MP3 files they post. Which means you can search for your desired artist and you can be pretty confident that you’ll find at least a few tracks worth checking out. It also has a splendid pop-up flash player which you can listen to as you surf other sites. In no way do we condone clicking on the individual blogs and then downloading the tracks they have posted.
Visit The Hype Machine

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10 things you must live without at a festival

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Mof has already fully briefed you on what you need to take to the festivals this summer. Just to make things clear, however, here is a list of things you should definitely leave behind.
chandelier.gif1. Chandeliers – While you may want your tent to outshine those muddy canvas boozeshacks around you, chandeliers are generally not the way to go when camping. For one thing they tend to weigh down the ceiling of your accommodation, resulting in you sleeping with a mouthful of crystals. Sounds exotic, until you actually try it. It is literally no fun.

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10 things you can't live without at a festival

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roll.jpgFestivals are as much about survival as they are music. Of course, watching bands and soaking up the sights is great… but it’s no fun with an itchy bum and trenchfoot. So how can you make your festival experience that little bit easier? Here’s our suggestions.
1. Toilet Roll – The ubiquitous toilet roll is the staple inclusion in every rucksack on a festival site. Anyone who has attended a festival will know the horrors of the festival toilet, so anything that can speed up the process is a godsend. Of course, the festivals provide your tissue, but by and large, you’ll find it covered in all manner of horrific things… if there is any there in the first place. If you’re lucky enough to find some in your portaloo that is usable, you may well suffer lacerations in places that you really didn’t want lacerations…

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