Singer Man looks like he’s squeezing something out, doesn’t he? But it could equally be one of those moves guitarists pull when they’re going “squeeeee!” It’s hard to tell.
To Singer Man’s left we have Woman Number One. I think she’s doing some kind of craft activity, and it’s a well-known fact that ladies who craft don’t have time to guff.
Which brings us to Woman Number Two. The raised foot, the look of concentration… both can be telling clues when one is trying to pin down a parper. I reckon she farted.
Could have been the drummer, mind.
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Two music industry heavy-hitters here. Let’s examine the situation and try and work out the most likely farter.
Not much being given away facially, although it does appear that Fat Joe is sporting a half-smile – and when I see a half-smile I tend to think the half-smiler is struggling to withhold a grimace. So on that level Ne-Yo is prime suspect.
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The key to figuring out who done a guff-guff in this scenario is, as always, the smiles. Katy Perry, normally so full of vim and funtimes, has apparently been frozen into a rictus statue. Why? She just got a whiff, that’s why, and not of Old Spice. She doesn’t know what to do. Jools Holland, meanwhile, is stood next to the hottest pop star on the planet right now – a rather pretty one to boot – and yet his expression says: “That… that smell – it’s BBC canteen cabbage, I’m sure it is. I stopped eating there years ago, and I know Katy had sushi, so…”
So indeed, Jools. So indeed. David Gilmour looks rather pleased with himself, doesn’t he? He’s exhibiting none of the discomfort we see on the faces of his counterparts. He’s luxuriating in a post-blast high. He farted.
I would say number one suspect has to be Nelly, given his schoolboy-quality upwards look of supposed innocence alongside Ashanti’s accusatory line of vision. Second in line would have to be Ashanti herself, especially if we were to take the “whoever smelt it, dealt it” approach. There’s a chance Akon may have fanned the pungent fragrance towards his co-performers with his hand, but I still wouldn’t place him among the Top 2 suspects on this occasion.