I get a lot of letters here at My Chemical Toilet. Weird, really, in this era of email/instant messaging/MyFace, etc. What’s even weirder is that many of the missives are from troubled souls seeking guidance in their lives. What am I, Oprah?
Anyway, I usually dash off a half-arsed reply saying something along the lines of: “Get a life. Failing that, the answers to most of life’s problems can be found in the lyrics of erstwhile Pavement frontman and now semi-successful solo artist Stephen Malkmus. Google some.”
Well, scribbling all those notes can get pretty tiresome, so today I’ve collected a few of them together and pointed the writer in the direction of the appropriate lyrics.
First up is Kev from Stranraer, Scotland. Kevin says: “Hi My Chemical Toilet. My girlfriend wears rings on her toes and I am not down with that. I like my woman to be metal-free down there. What should I do?”
See which Stephen Malkmus lyric is virtually tailor-made to solve this tricky snafu after the jump.