I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: Joy Division

Yeah. I geddit. Joy Division are really influential. I know. Stop going on about it. Just about every two-bit schmindie band around at the moment seems to be parping on about their love for Joy Division. No wonder. Joy Division are great. Hang on... isn't this supposed to be 'I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To'?

Posted by Mof Gimmers on April 30, 2008 2:22 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: Arctic Monkeys

Just about everyone loves the Arctic Monkeys don't they? I don't get it. I don't know what it is but they just leave me cold. I like the fact that there's a buncha kids running around this town making a proper racket and singing in their own accents as opposed to adopting an American, or worse still, a London accent. However, to me, every time I hear 'em, I can't help but hear the ghost of Shed Seven.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on April 23, 2008 8:42 AM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To... The Knife

Every hipster in the world is telling me that I should like The Knife. Well, I got news for you bucko, I can't bear 'em. They make my shit itch they're so bad. They're a mixture of two of my most loathed things: The 80s and bad electronic music. Now, don't get me wrong on the latter, I love electronic music... just not electronic music that sounds like a horrendous 80s disco with a sniff of trance about it. I lived through the 80s, unlike most of the people who dig The Knife and can vouch that there is nothing to promote. The 80s was the worst musical decade in history.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on April 16, 2008 2:34 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: Rage Against The Machine

It's quite hard doing an 'I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To' every week. Not because I can't think of bands, more, people will think I don't like anyone. Not true. Anyway, who is this week's headscratcher? Well, with all the fuss over the reunion for the festivals, I have to say I just don't get Rage Against The Machine. Of course, I understand why they were popular - they were political, angry, loud - but for me, something was always missing.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on April 9, 2008 12:47 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: Gogol Bordello

Just about every man and his dog loves Gogol Bordello. Everyone seems to thrill at the prospect of punk hitting trad. arr. gypsy music headlong and creating a joyous rock 'n' roll wreck... But isn't that what Dexy's Midnight Runners were when they went rubbish?

Of course, the nature of this column requires me to only pick out the bad points. However, I will say that I'm aware that it's a good thing this band are introducing a new crowd to music they may never have considered previously. And each to their own and all that... but it's not as fun, is it?

Posted by Mof Gimmers on April 2, 2008 2:30 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: Jimi Hendrix

I almost feel dirty for typing this... but... I just don't like Jimi Hendrix as much as I'm supposed to. At least, the Jimi Hendrix that everyone else loves. Now, that's not to say Mr Hendrix isn't without merit. Far from it. Jimi was a trailblazer. A black man making it in whitey's world, mixing up soul with rock and playing a guitar like no other before him... or since. He looked the part, he strutted cool as a peacock and, let's be honest, he was devilishly good-looking.

However, there's something that doesn't float my boat when Jimi is represented by the annals of rock. Getting stuck into a Jimi Hendrix LP is no easy thing. They're often sprawling messes that are littered with too many long, noodly guitar solos and dippy lyrics about Aquarius and throwaway mysticism.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on March 26, 2008 1:33 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: Guns 'n' Roses

OK. I geddit. Guns 'n' Roses were a trashy group of degenerates who raised hell and liked their music loud. On paper, they tick all my boxes. The swagger of Keef, the seediness of the New York Dolls. The sheer volume of no-good punks. However, music isn't assessed on paper, as "G'n'FR", on a turntable, make me ill.

I dare say that fans of the band will adopt an attitude of 'well, you either love 'em or loathe 'em', which is handy as I absolutely despise 'em. In my teens, they were the stadium band you were allowed to like. They were a bit dangerous and partied harder than most... but then again, I bet Genesis have some tales, eh? No, my beef lay with the fact that they were a bunch of misogynists making it OK to talk about women like sides of beef. Not. Cool.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on March 12, 2008 2:08 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: Ryan Adams

Ryan Adams is pretty much adored by everyone I know. He's a bit country, a bit punk, a bit folk, a bit rock'n'roll... which ticks all my boxes. So why can't I get into him? I bought Heartbreaker and Gold all those years ago, and, in fairness, the former contained a couple o' numbers that were stone cold killers. 'Oh My Sweet Carolina', 'Winding Wheel' and the one that opens the LP... can't remember what it's called now... were all great. Things looked promising. Had I found my new Gram Parsons?

Gold came up next in my collection, and 'Answering Bell' was a gorgeous slice of country-rock... but the rest of the LP? Can't remember a thing. Y'see, I'd hoped that Adams was gonna grab country music by the balls and really go for the jugular. Show-stopping rockabilly numbers and tunes made for crying into your beer, you know?

Posted by Mof Gimmers on March 5, 2008 12:00 PM in Dispatches From Beardsville| I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To... Manic Street Preachers

I used to love having Manic Street Preachers knocking around. They were skeletal thin, trashy hell-raisers that stuck yellow tongues out at the hippies and declared, live on the Pyramid Stage at Glasto, that someone should "build a bypass over this shit-hole". As childish as it was, you've gotta laugh.

The first two LPs released by the Welsh rockers misfired, but contained a couple of singles you couldn't help but enjoy. Then their masterpiece arrived in the shape of the terrifying The Holy Bible. Songs of abuse, death, lust and politics collided with seedy basslines and truly harrowing guitar and imagery. The Richie went AWOL and the weight started piling onto more than just their hips.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on February 27, 2008 1:06 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: The Doors

Firstly, guess what? There was more than one person in The Doors. Guess what else? The one you always think about was the least talented of the four. Lester Bangs (the greatest rock critic who ever did live) called Jim Morrison the "Bozo Dionysus" and I'm right behind him. "I am the Lizard King! I can do anything!" Jimbo once hollered... anything except jerk off in the bath without dying. But hey, I'm falling into the 'Jim Morrison was The Doors' trap. Let's look at the canonised output.

People tend to fall over themselves to heap praise on The Doors (I'm looking at you Q Mag, Mojo, NME and Uncut). I don't get it. Sure 'nuff, they made some decent pop records... that's right, POP. "Peace Frog" is alright, "Break On Through", "Roadhouse Blues"... all decent pop records. Anything more? Nope. They're up there with Duran Duran, A-Ha and Take That - pop chancers who got lucky with a couple of choruses and a much-fancied singer.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on February 20, 2008 2:07 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: Sex Pistols

Just because a band is hugely influential doesn't mean I have to like 'em. Even if I like cruddy third-rate versions of said band. In this case, I'm talking about the Sex Pistols. For some reason, I just can't get into 'em. They've got a couple of songs that I love. "Pretty Vacant" is a masterpiece in schlock pop and "God Save The Queen" is a hilarious piece of rockin' trash... but for me, that's about all they've got to offer.

Now, I've already touched on it, but I feel that I'll have to reiterate. I understand how incredibly important the Sex Pistols are to British music, but I do sniff at the idea that punk came about because of Johnny Rotten & Co. Punk is something that'd been around for more than a decade before 'Year Zero'. The thing that the second punk movement had was great timing.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on February 13, 2008 2:22 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: David Bowie

Over the years, David Bowie's done it all. He's been a trashy maverick. He's used art in his music and somehow made it accessible enough for the masses to swallow. He's sold a squillion records. He's had his teeth done. He's hopped around the genres with wild abandon. He's created stone-cold pop classics. Hell, he's collaborated with Bing Crosby! So why don't I really like him?

For all the plus points of Bowie, there's something holding me back. I've never been one for rock 'n' roll theatrics, preferring my singers to wear jeans and look like one of 'us'. That said, it's never stopped me digging the sounds of Sly and the Family Stone and Funkadelic, who look like they've just landed from some mysterious planet. There's no doubting that Bowie possesses one of the most brilliant and soulful voices in rock history... and man, his back catalogue is to die for. However...

Posted by Mof Gimmers on February 6, 2008 12:12 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: The Strokes

From the Spinal Tap-esque artwork of their debut album right through to the present day, only once have The Strokes lived up to their promise. I've seen 'em live, heard the LPs... and of course, the initial hype took a lot of digesting (as they were all set to save the world from whiney guitar bands, bad pop, third world debt and apparently, had a cure for the common cold). But I was willing to like them. Velvet Underground influence? Yes please! A sniff of garage punk about 'em? Bring it on! Sadly, the opening chimes of their debut single left me cold and wondering who stole their verve.

I mentioned that they'd only lived up to the promise once. "Juicebox" was the time they got closest to being an exciting band. A sinister bassline and a band really letting loose and kicking out the jams! Man, when they holler "Why won't you come over heeeerrrreee?", you actually start believing that this band could shake up the stale world of indie-pop. Sadly, the bits I've mentioned are the only great bits of the song.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on January 30, 2008 1:48 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To... Gorillaz/Damon Albarn

I don't know what it is about Gorillaz, but whatever it is, I can't get into 'em. Throughout my teens, I was a big Blur fan. To this day, I have a great respect for Damon Albarn. There's no doubting his ability to write a cracking and catchy ditty and, on his day, has a wonderful turn of phrase. However, since Blur went cold, I've not been able to really get into anything he's done.

I scratch my head often wondering what may have changed my mind. Am I a pop snob? I can't be. I still like the Parklife LP, and The Good, The Bad and The Queen is hardly standard pop. So have I simply grown out of Damon Albarn's stylings? I don't think so. Gorillaz have done some pretty good tunes... so what is it? The only thing I can think of is the lack of Graham Coxon.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on January 23, 2008 12:05 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: The Smiths

It won't surprise you at all to find someone who doesn't like The Smiths. In fact, throw a stone into the air and chances are, when it lands, it'll either hit someone who hates Mozza and Co or someone who would die for him. As a young surly lad growing up in the North of England, I was expected to like The Smiths. I liked guitars. I liked the sound of a record that was 'off the beaten track'. As far as I was concerned, though, the only people who liked 'em were Southerners and people who had moved to Manchester from elsewhere in an attempt to feel The Smiths (didn't have the balls to move to Salford though eh?).

Through the '80s, The Smiths were imperial, almost walking on water in the eyes of their adoring fans. After the split, they became canonised and no bad words could ever be said against them (unless you include the laughable suggestions that Morrissey was/is a racist). Smiths discos cropped up all over the place and the quiffs got a little bit bigger. The Smiths, one of the most famous bands that had ever shouted from our shores still felt like a secret to those in the know.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on January 16, 2008 1:35 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: Bob Marley

A large portion of my family is Caribbean, so as you can well imagine, reggae played a bit part in my life. So did Blackpool Milk Roll but that's besides the point. The tales of the older members of my family were both brilliant and heartbreaking. From tales of being thrown on a boat to do labouring jobs, to stories about dancing for two days straight to Bluebeat and Calypso. Man, sometimes I wish I was oppressed, repressed... instead of just pressed. With that came an early fondness for the sounds of JA... Toots and the Maytals, Prince Buster, Sister Nancy, Horace Andy... but one act that never set my heart alight was The Wailers, and, specifically, the solo work of Bob Marley.

Growing up, I saw my peers learning how to skin-up and make slapshod bucket bongs to the sounds of Baab, and was often left cold. In fairness, when I get stoned, my extremities go cold, but that's not what I'm talking about. The rich basses and intricate drum work of truly great reggae always makes my hair stand on end (leaving me looking like a cross between Don King and Kid from Kid 'N' Play... only white), but Bob's output sounded... too white.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on January 9, 2008 2:08 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To - Muse

I fear I'm going to get crucified for this... but I really don't like Muse. To me, they're nothin' more than Radiohead on steroids... and I don't like Radiohead either. Of course, I'm being a bit glib in an attempt to wind up die-hard Musos (I bet I'm not the first, or even the millionth, person to wheel that lame-ass joke out), but seriously, there is only so much whining tortured artistry I can stomach.

I've seen 'em live, heard the records, seen the videos and I still don't get it. As big rock bands go, the stage show is so-so, and the tunes seem to big writ large for the sake of it. Gimme QOTSA any day of the week. There's a big rock band with balls. I reckon Josh Homme would back me in a brawl, where Matt Bellamy would cry with his walkman on. What's that gotta do with anything? Nothing. Nothing at all. Since when did rock writing have to be serious and based on fact?

Posted by Mof Gimmers on January 2, 2008 1:33 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: Paul Weller

In a recent conversation about embarrassing records owned in the past, I included my LPs by The Jam. Thinking about it later, I'm not sure why... I mean, The Jam were a great band! "Billy Hunt" is a cracking slice of punkpop and every man and his dog loves "A Town Called Malice" don't they? So I started wondering why I'd chosen The Jam as my shameful past. Then it hit me. Paul Weller.

Paul Weller, to many Ben Sherman shirt-wearers, is regarded as The Modfather. Now, to me, there are many, many more people who deserve such a title. Steve Marriott. Pete Townshend. Hell, there are a hundred soul singers who deserve it more than that lot put together. Weller emerged from the dreadful Style Council to become a popular singer-songwriter in his own right (after a faltering first solo LP) which has seen him tackle folk, indie, r 'n' b... but that doesn't a genius make (a genius wouldn't hang around with Ocean Colour Scene for a start).

Posted by Mof Gimmers on December 18, 2007 11:48 AM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: The Stone Roses

There is no questioning how great The Stone Roses once were. They've influenced just about every British band since the release of their incredible debut. Swirling psychedelic guitars and breathy vocals were backed up with a cockiness not seen in the then dour world of indie miserablism. That said, something has left the memory of The Roses tainted.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on December 12, 2007 1:25 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To: The Clash

I don't know what it is, but the sound of The Clash just doesn't do it for me. The first LP has its moments - Janie Jones is a cracking opener - but after that it just falls flat. Don't shoot me. Other notable tunes that leave me colder than a day-old cup of tea; Tommy Gun, Should I Stay Or Should I Go?, Rock The Casbah... and don't get me started on the hugely overrated London Calling. Joe Strummer, silver spoon beneficiary turned gravedigger turned squatter punk God turned Bruce Springsteen, spat out the lyrics and had the right moves... but couldn't really move me.

That said, I don't dislike the group. I recognise their importance to one of the most vital movements in the history of music and hell, I even liked 'em when I was 14! For me, there is something missing from the sounds that bumble out of my speakers. Maybe you had to be there when it all kicked off? Because I wasn't, I'll leave the band to those that love 'em... I'll go back to my Buzzcocks records.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on December 5, 2007 11:56 AM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To... The Verve

So... as the mortgage bills pile up, another band reform... and this time it's The Verve. Now, for anyone grumbling at my use of 'The' in the band name, please go away now... I'm firmly on the side of the jazz label that's been around for a lot longer than a bunch of chest-beaters from Wigan. Y'see, I like bands who have a bit of arrogance... it makes it fun... The New York Dolls without arrogance doesn't bear thinking about. However, your arrogance needs to be well placed... and record sales don't always make a great band.

Many fans of Richard Ashcroft & Co will tell you of the beauty of The Verve's LPs... but as beauty is subjective (ie, I don't like 'em so tough) that goes out of the window. So what is next? Well, they will then tell you of the massive shows they've played... the vast number of records sold... but Mr Blobby went to number one and Robbie Williams filled a Knebworth field. The fact is, The Verve got lucky and hit their stride slap bang in the middle of Britpop, seeing them go from indie miserablists to all conquering rock gawds. Sadly for The Verve, their mawkish symphonies left the door open for The Little Book of Calm groups (Coldplay, Keane)... and when you hear The Drugs Don't Work... it's hard not to be pithy and say "they do... if you don't stick 'em up your arse..."

Posted by Mof Gimmers on November 28, 2007 1:40 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don’t Like Them As Much As I’m Supposed To - Ben Folds

Ben Folds (and his famous Five) have the kind of fans that could only be described as 'adoring'. Folds and his piano take to road and record throwing out oh-so-witty lyrics and oh-so-clever musical tricks to show all just how talented he is. He's so far removed from what I look for in music that it actually makes me a bit ill. Unfortunately, I've been to a Ben Folds gig, and rather than being underwhelmed (as I'd expected) I found myself furious at each knowing wink and smart-arse key change. The bands I like bring out interesting records... Ben Folds decided to do a tour on cruise ships.

His fans left a sour taste in my mouth too. Basically, they were a bunch of smuggo music theorists all gleefully lapping up each device knowing that, in their heart of hearts, they were much smarter than everyone else. I wanted some punks to come in and start kicking the jam outta these po-faced spods. If you like Ben Folds, you probably like musicals... and if you like musicals... then you shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a record player for the rest of your days.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on November 21, 2007 1:22 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don’t Like Them As Much As I’m Supposed To - Arcade Fire

Take some prog attitude, some wonky LP sleeves and some slow grinding riffs and whaddya got? You got the Arcade Fire (remember! It's not THE Arcade Fire... *slaps wrists*). Now, Arcade Fire find themselves in a very unique position in the world... notably... every man and his dog absolutely adores them. Bruce Springsteen loves them. U2 love them. David Bowie love them. There lies the problem.

Where many feel that Ver Fire are superior to your average indie band, it still remains that has-beens like Bono and The Boss love 'em. For me, that does your credentials no good. Indeed, it only serves to prove what I've always thought: they're a bit dull. For a band with 'fire' in their name, they seem to lack all punch and vigour, instead preferring to plough a sturdy furrow in a very lumpen field. Sometimes, I don''t get bands... but I get this lot and just don't dig them.

Posted by Mof Gimmers on November 14, 2007 3:17 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don’t Like Them As Much As I’m Supposed To - Rufus Wainwright

I desperately want to like Rufus Wainwright. I really really do. I've been intrigued by him in interviews and am a fan of his father's work (Loudon Wainwright III). From Rufus' influences and the way people talk about his music, I expected a camp and dramatic Scott Walker styled singer, blowing everyone away with grandiose torch songs and swooping strings. Instead, I heard some very nice songs.

Now, there is nothing wrong with writing a nice song... but that's it... they're just nice. I'd built Wainwright up into some dazzling queen with a point to prove... yet, instead, I got a limited range and very pretty little songs. If only I'd not bothered building him up in the first place. For me, it seems that Rufus Wainwright has yet to really unleash his talent. If he pushes his (clearly brilliant) voice and builds on the tension, I'll be first in the queue to adore him. Until then, I'll simply remain a little puzzled and a bit let down...

Posted by Mof Gimmers on November 7, 2007 3:02 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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I Don’t Like Them As Much As I’m Supposed To - The Small Faces

Every man and his dog loves The Small Faces. All the ingredients are there. They looked cool. They dressed in killer threads. The sound is rough and filled with nods to soul 45s. In Steve Marriott they had one of the biggest voices ever to pop out of a weedy white man's frame. They had the moves... the attitude... so why do they generally leave me wanting?

Posted by Mof Gimmers on October 31, 2007 12:49 PM in I Don't Like Them As Much As I'm Supposed To
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