As you’ll be aware, we are now experiencing a post-Boyle entertainment landscape. Pre-Boyle, it was a commonly-held belief that non-pretty people were unable to sing - it was thought that the sheer weight of their ugly faces meant their mouths could not be held open long enough to complete a song.

Susan Boyle’s Britain’s Got Talent performance has opened the world’s eyes to the fact that, somehow, a beautiful voice can emerge from a middle-aged Scottish virgin lacking the physical traits of conventional attractiveness.

Imagine that! Looks have nothing to do with talent!

Fortunately for those worrying that this topsy-turvy development may be ushering in a new, cynicism-free age, there are plenty of entrepreneurial people out there willing to swiftly register Susan Boyle-related domain names or set up online stores with pithy, vaguely Susan Boyle-related text on them (see above image).

At the time of writing the clip of her performance on YouTube is picking up around 3 million hits a day, which is good news for Susan but also for the fan pages which have managed to get their links placed in the page’s information panel. susan-boyle.com, for example, has been in existence for barely a week but, despite its hastily cobbled-together design and misspelled introduction, has over 10,000 registered members.

With Boyle’s sudden worldwide popularity the site seems to have become the main destination for teary-eyed, illiterate Earthlings to weep their words onto the web under the impression that it’s Susan Boyle’s official website. It’s not, of course, but that hasn’t deterred legions of fans from addressing personal, occasionally unhinged messages directly to her.

Let’s just say that if Susan Boyle’s voice doesn’t usher in a new age of global peace, love and understanding, there are going to be a lot of upset lunatics out there.

Now, let us enjoy some fan comments from susan-boyle.com in their unedited, tin foil-hatted glory:

Overnight, you’ve managed to restore humanity into this cripplijng world of financial woes and wars, etc. and opend the Gates of Heaven into my heart as wll as my children’s…my children! God bless you, Dear Susan! God bless you!

Susan Boyle, what can we say beautiful, steadfast an absolute prodigy , you will make a differance to this country and I am sure many more. I wish you all the best you have made my socks blow off you are addictive, give us more. Play it your way Susan x.

I hope Kingdom Hollywood does not put their slimy hands all over this precious work of art, tarnishing a rare jewel able to shine joy light on the part of the human spirit so difficult to reach.

First of all I like to say God bless you. I am completely blown out of my mind. You are a gift from God for all of us to enjoy. Remember all those days you thought only the birds could hear you sing? God was listening.

Susan is refreashing and will reach many people. You do not have to be like everyone easle. I am glad for her shock it to them go for it.

Wow!this woman just transcends what it means to be a child of God. We are not made perfect but asked by God to try and be perfect just as he is. Oftentimes, some overthinks what it is that God is trying to say and just brings out ugliness, but Susan Boyle understands,- before she took the stage she admitted that she is not the best good-looking but a beautiful child of God whom he had deposited beautiful things within.

I am a symphony orchestra conductor. Does anyone know how I can get in contact with Susan. Thank you.

SUSAN YOU ( HAVE A ANGEL VOICE)

We sat in stunned amazement, as this never kissed unemployed woman from the other side of the globe became a star, a woman who dared to dream a dream. Magnificent!1

A message to the world President Obama brought the world “HOPE” now Susan Boyle is bring the world together on a common note LOVE! When ever one feels the need to hate watch Susan Boyles video to remind you that we are all equal and full of dreams ( Women, men, Christians, Muslims, Gays, capitalists, communists, blacks, whites,yellows,reds, browns,pinks, etc even lost souls) have dreams of loving and being loved. We all live in the same world and Susan Boyle has shown/reminded us that we can all come together in this world and agree on something if it is TRUE and SELFLESS.

How the world longs for heaven to comfort it and does so by sending messangers as yourself.

God sent us an angel. Susan Boyle is her name.

Susan, You use the expression that you are God-Smacked! Hon, I think that you are God- Kissed. Wow!

Susan!! Susan!! Susan!! Have you any idea of the emotion you stirred up in me when I heard you sing??????? My tears fell, listening to that most extraordinary voice of yours. I shed more tears when I checked out YouTube & heard you sing again. “Cry Me A River” had the same effect on my tear ducts.

Possibly related:

1. Bjork comments on that pesky China/Tibet controversy what she done

2. Madonna’s new film Filth And Wisdom: straight to video (or the internet as it’s called now)

3. The festival fan’s latest internet treat - Babelgum

4. In-Tents Questioning: Hard Rock Calling - Gemma Cartwright

5. Dispatches From Beardsville - Arborea

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Posted by Stuart Waterman on Monday April 20th, 2009 at 9:00 am