We’ve all jacked a few mans for their chains in our time, haven’t we? ‘Course. One thing I personally have never done is steal someone’s gaudily-oversized superhero pendant and gone on YouTube to gloat about it. But north London MC Rowdy-T makes this look like a rather wizard idea, if only for publicity’s sake.

It seems Mr T encountered an American rapper named Yung Berg, and took a bit of a shine to Mr Berg’s Batman neckla- sorry, chain. So he yoinked it. Then, rather than laying low and polishing his twinkly Caped Crusader beneath his duvet, he decided to start uploading a series of videos so that nobody would be in any doubt that he was in possession of the stolen trinket.

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Posted by Stuart Waterman on Wednesday October 6th, 2010 at 7:00 am

Once upon a time, you were NOBODY unless you’d had a music video banned by Top Of The Pops. Here Robyn Wilder reports on an instance of the modern-day equivalent…

YouTube has removed the video for MIA’s new single, “Born Free”, for being too violent. The verit

Posted by admin on Wednesday April 28th, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Gang Starr frontman Guru has sadly passed away after losing his fight against cancer, and in doing so has left a farewell note sure to keep hip-hop conspiracy theorists stocked up with debate material for a good while to come.

In it, Guru alludes pretty directly to his ongoing beefiness with former Gang Starr producer DJ Premier…

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Posted by admin on Tuesday April 20th, 2010 at 11:53 am

You may have heard that Dappy, the be-hatted wee gonad-y looking one off the N-Dubz who is apparently addicted to crashing model airplanes (?!), got himself into a spot of bov recently.

If you haven’t, the story in a nutshell is:

While Dappy’s behaviour was rather naughty, one has to applaud the fact that he managed to get N-Dubz’s trademark catchphrase into one of his succinct missives. Here’s the one I’m talking about:

u dum f****** dickhead u can call me names over the radio but when I call u direct u chicken out u punk!nana fucking niiiii, Dappy.

I’ll skip over the fact that pop star Dappy signed his threatening text with his name, because that’s a mistake anyone could make. It’s the “nana fucking niiiii” that interests me.

“Nana niii” (you’ll have to excuse me if my spelling is incorrect, I looked it up in the dictionary but it weren’t there – possibly because it doesn’t actually mean anything) is the cry you can hear on many N-Dubz songs, allowing you to identify them easily lest you think you’re listening to John Mayer.

Here are some young N-Dubz fans taking some time out from getting pregnant to share their rendition of “Nana niii”:

It’s a canny thing, an aural trademark, and to take it into other areas of your life – as Dappy has – shows a determination to extend his/N-Dubz’s brand identity sadly lacking in the majority of pop stars. It also leads you to suspect that Dappy sees “Nana niii” as so synonymous with his sense of self that he employs it anywhere and everywhere.

The butcher, the cobbler, the librarian – I’m guessing all have had a taste of “Nana niii”. Indeed perhaps Dappy – not the most gifted of communicators, as we’ve seen – dispenses with all other words if a “Nana niii” will do.

“Ah, you’ve brought back the Milan Kundera book at last, Dappy. I’m afraid it’s two years overdue, so there’s a fine of

Posted by Stuart Waterman on Monday January 18th, 2010 at 9:53 pm

A doctor’s surgery. Twista enters the room.

Doctor: Ah, Twista. Hello, how have you been?

Twista: Gottapaininmypeepee pleasehelpmeGP

Doctor: Hmm, this again. Did you take my advice, and start using protection?

Twista: Playadon’tputrubberonhisdick DoctorMick

Doctor: Well, you know, you’re kind of asking for it in that case. What’s your objection to condoms, anyway?

Twista: LovetogetblazedwhileI’mgettinglaid

Doctor: I see. And you become too lethargic to reach over into your condom drawer, right?

Twista: Gottachick ridingmydick toomuchhasslestickingrubberonmywick eventhoughIcoulddoitrealquick

Doctor: Perhaps you should try having sex without smoking marijuana?

Twista: Nofuckwithoutfire thatscenario’sdire
Givesmethesexualdesire towhichIaspire
JustwishIcouldgethigher withoutstartingtotire

Doctor: I mean, I can give you that stuff I gave you last time, but you really need to-

Twista: NowI’mstartintoperspire
CosI’mpissin’barbedwire

Doctor: Yes, I know the symptoms.

Twista: Urination apainfulsensation

Doctor: OK, here’s a prescription. But you can’t smoke marijuana while you’re taking it.

Twista: NoMaryJaneyouinsane
That’sapain tooprofane
Guessmy mainvein gonnacontinuetostrain
MaybeI’lljustapplyalittlecocaine
TheraininSpain fallsmainlyontheplain

Doctor: LOL! Oh Twista.

Twista: Ooh, also – I need to inform you of my change of address.

Doctor: You can do that at reception.

Twista: Okey dokey. Bye!

Doctor: Bye Twista!

[FIN]

Buy Twista MP3s at 7Digital

Posted by Stuart Waterman on Wednesday January 13th, 2010 at 9:00 am

That little snapshot up there is from Snoop Dogg’s new video, “Gangster Love” “Gangsta Luv”. It’s an odd moment – amongst all the usual lady-based booty-quaking and gyrationalisms, there’s Snoop in the back seat of his whip having noodles chopsticked into his mouth by an Asian “lovely”.

I suppose after a few years in the game you probably run out of ways to humourously objectify women, so it’s heartening to see Snoop and his video director switching things up a bit.

Kudos also for the moment when, while zipping along in a speedboat with another buttock-flaunting entourage, Snoop smacks two ladies on their badonkadonks – and knocks them overboard. Nary a raised eyebrow from Mr. Dogg, of course, despite said ladies almost certainly not living to shake their bumcakes again.

Snoop Dogg – Gangsta Luv on MUZU.

Posted by Stuart Waterman on Monday November 2nd, 2009 at 8:30 am

Poor old Akon, he’s always got summat on his mind. If it’s not accidentally dry-humping a child, physically throwing a teenager off a stage, or lying about his bad-assedness and his age, it’s something else.

“Something else” is currently illustrated in the lyrics to his latest smash hit, “Sexy Bitch” – a collabaration with Fronch deeshay David Guetta:

She’s nothing like a girl you’ve ever seen before
Nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood whore
I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl
Without being disrespectful…

Now, placing the girl in question above the local prostitute goes someway to showing how disrespectful Akon isn’t, but he’s clearly in a considerable tizzy over this matter. Just how can he describe this girl without being disrespectful? Let’s see if he manages it by skipping to the chorus:

Damn, you’s a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch
Damn, you’s a sexy bitch, damn, girl
Damn, you’s a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch
Damn, you’s a sexy bitch, damn, girl

Hmm. It’s a valiant effort, but some might think that referring to a lady as a bitch – albeit a sexy one – is, like, the least respectful way to describe her. I’m just putting that out there.

What’s interesting, though, is that if you take these lyrics from the mouth of Akon and place them in the mouth of an animated Australian tennis player, they somehow take on a certain charm. Watch:

So, if the lyrics sound OK coming from Graham up there, does that mean Akon succeeded in his attempt to not be disrespecful?

It’s a real conundrum, and one far too complicated for my male thoughtsicles to process. So I decided to ask some of The Womens. I emailed some real-life females and asked them for their opinion on Akon’s attempt to not be disrespectful, alongside a mark out of ten for “Not Being Disrespectful-ness”.

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Posted by Stuart Waterman on Thursday October 8th, 2009 at 8:30 am

I can’t be ignored like a hangOVER
Coz everybeat I sound nang OVER
Half of them I don’t mad OVER
This bass will knock your gran OVER

The lesson here is, if you’ve got Granny coming over for Christmas dinner make sure you didn’t also invite JME. Things could get awkward.

Buy JME “Over Me” MP3 at Play.com

[via Fullygrown Grime]

Posted by Stuart Waterman on Wednesday September 30th, 2009 at 8:30 am

This is Skepta’s “Disguise”. It nicks the Transformers theme and is all about how some men dress up as ladies and attempt to trick other men into going home with them. This has never once happened to me, so I’m not sure where Skepta and his pals hang out.

There’s a line in there about having “no qualms with [transvestites’] sexuality”, which, while it might confuse pre-op transsexuals with transvestites, is at least a bit more enlightened than you might expect from an urban “joint”. It’s clearly there so you can chuckle along without feeling like a big old bigot-head, which is thoughtful of those involved.

It’s from his album Microphone Champion, tracks from which you can purchase at 7digital.

[via No, YOU Can Have A Coke – that’s Shystie’s blog, that is]

Posted by Stuart Waterman on Wednesday June 24th, 2009 at 9:00 am

There’s not much funnier than a naughty rapper who isn’t even famous enough to get away with being naughty. Maddest of props, then, to David Thomas Thornton, who took a 15-man entourage to a South Florida university talent show and managed to get himself charged with:

– aggravated assault
– possession of a firearm on school property
– grand theft of a firearm
– carrying a concealed weapon
– improper display of a firearm

It turns out that if you’re an aspiring rapper it’s really not OK to carry a loaded .357 Magnum around with you, and even more not OK to start waving it at people after they’ve booed you offstage for being so shit.

Full story at tampabay.com.

[via Fark] / [image: Michael@Privacy of the Mind on Flickr]

Posted by Stuart Waterman on Sunday April 5th, 2009 at 9:00 am