If you haven’t yet had a commute ruined by a yoot blasting Imperial Squad out of their phone, you should probably prepare yourself for the experience. In an age when “underground” can mean all-day exposure on grime-y pop TV channel AKA (formerly Channel U) and canny use of online social networking, Imperial Squad look set to be the latest act to use these avenues to follow the likes of N-Dubz and Chipmunk into the “proper” pop charts.

They’re one of those acts who have garnered zillions of YouTube and MySpace views amongst tuned-in yoots while receiving little if any radio play. Their first “official” single was called “Just A Link”, and featured a preposterously seedy video shot in a “Thistle Hotel” off the M1 or something.

It’s all fake-tanned young ladies in underwear and itchy-looking soft furnishings - but damn and blast if the song’s not a hooky little swine…

I find myself wondering where exactly this unglamorous out-of-town Thistle Hotel is. My hunch is it’s the Heathrow branch. Have you ever enjoyed a liason at this particular Thistle Hotel? Did the pillowcase chafe? Perhaps you could let me know in the comments.

Imperial Squad’s next single “Freak” is a similarly joyless yet catchy ode to getting your end away. In this one the gents seem to be warning us about this girl they know, because… she’s good at doing sex.

Now, that would be the kind of information you might think would put a little smile on a young man’s face, but not the Imperials, oh no. They’re all screwface and danger, as if having an enjoyable roll in the hay is a hazardous pursuit. Maybe they know she’s got a germ or something, but come on gentlemen, that’s what “double-bagging” it is for.

Anyway, like its predecessor “Freak” has a rather odd video, with the action apparently set in some kind of well-appointed manor house. One of the Squad seems to have been given the roll of stable boy, since he appears to deliver his lines from a barn:

I think he might be a guest vocalist actually, and is probably in someone’s London basement because he couldn’t make filming on the same day as the others.

Sadly “Freak” features a rather needless dose of autotune, but that aside it’s another pop gem masquerading as an underground urban “joint”:

Vampire teeth! Bless.

Imperial Squad are working on their debut album at the moment, with their MySpace describing their sound as “G-Hop” - a mix of grime and hip-hop. I suppose that sounds good to the young ‘uns who don’t want to be seen listening to pop music, which is essentially what Imperial Squad produce. Whatever you call it, it will probably be soundtracking your bus journeys for the next few months.

Buy “Just A Link” at Amazon.co.uk

Buy “Freak” at iTunes

Imperial Squad on MySpace

Possibly related:

1. Lil Goonie’s “Girlz Gone Wild” fulfills its inevitable destiny by soundtracking a Girls Gone Wild ad campaign

2. Moby returns with “Alice”, who the f*** is Alice, etc

3. Hip-Hop Isn’t Dead: Public Enemy to tour It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back around the UK

4. Kate Nash chucks stuff out of a window (does not include telly)

5. Global Gathering 2008 hosts the MySpace Bus

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Posted by Stuart Waterman on Tuesday May 12th, 2009 at 2:07 pm