Mark Morrison won’t be returning to Leicester

If you find yourself in Leicester (lovely clocktower pictured, left) in the near future and wonder why everyone in the city is dressed in black, it is because the populace is in a whole heap of mourning.

The reason? Read these words, which sprang like angry vipers from the mouth of Mr Mark Morrison in a conversation with the Leicester Mercury:

“Believe it, baby, I ain’t never, ever, ever going back to Leicester.”

Holy mack! What’s the prob Mark, singer of “Return Of The Mack” and, apparently, some other songs?

“I showed Leicester the love and that city never showed me the love back. That place has shown me nothing but contempt.”

Ah. Like so many tragedies, this one is a result of unrequited love. Let’s just check, though - does he really mean it?

“That’s N-to-the-E-to-the-E-to-the-G-to-the-B-to-the-T-to-the-L,” he said, rapping out the initials.

He rapped them out. He really rapped them out. Oh, he means it alright. You know the saddest thing about Mark’s falling-out with his hometown? It’s that- Well, I’ll let Mark tell you.

“I will always be the all-time musical great of your city. I’m The Beatles of that city.”

It’s easy to forget that, isn’t it? Especially with big-hitters like Showaddywaddy coming from Leicester. On the subject of which:

“I don’t see a Gary Lineker soccer school in Leicester. I don’t see an Engelbert Humperdinck or a Showaddywaddy singing school in Leicester. I came back, I put on talent shows in Leicester. I did that and the police tried to shut me down.”

Blimey. And so it seems Leicester’s biggest musical export - “record sales in the double-digit millions” somehow, according to the Mercury - will remain Stateside for the forseeable future. Poor old Leicester. The country’s thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

Read the whole interview at thisisleicestershire.co.uk The original article has since disappeared, so you’re basically going to have to take my word for it. I ain’t no maker-upper.
[via Sweeping The Nation on Twitter]