I have a lot of time for Canada, I really do. Those accents! Maple syrup! Corey Haim! So much to love. And now, having just checked out the nominations for the Juno awards, I feel like I want to give the whole nation an extra big hug. Well, the bits that aren’t in Nickelback, anyway.
The Juno Awards are what UK papers refer to as “the equivalent of the BRIT Awards”, but let’s be honest, you’re supposed to call any ceremony of this nature “the equivalent of the Grammys”. Like we do with the BRIT Awards.
The list of nominees is verily crammed to the gills with woe, since Nickelback (of course), Celine Dion (naturally) and Sam Roberts (muh?) lead the nommos.

Yup, whoever picks the cream of the crop when it comes to the Canadian music industry seems keen to ensure Canadians abroad continue to suffer cruel Nickelback-based jibes for the next year at least.
The man-rock gruffaloes have the most nominations, with fake smiles being prepared by the other artists in the categories for Album of the Year, Single of the Year, Group of the Year and the Fan Choice Award as we speak.
There are a few opportunities for desperate BRITs-style rebellion on the night itself, however.
Seeing asterisk-friendly punk sorts Fucked Up nominated for Alternative Album Of The Year means you can’t help but hope their name is called from the podium. Oh, and Kardinal Offishall is Canadian, apparently. He’s been nominated for his needlessly Akon-heavy “Dangerous” single, so let’s hope the kids at home get to witness a performance complete with ladies’ pelvic gyrations and lyrics that mention making his “black snake moan”.
On a side note, it’s interesting to see Barenaked Ladies have finally found their appropriate milieu - they’re up for Children’s Album Of The Year, which is even more amusing when you recall that their lead singer was arrested for druggy silliness last year.
So apart from any LOLs that may occur related to the above, the TV coverage will probably be a rather dry affair. Those Bryan Adams (farting, right; click image to enlarge) jokes aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, since he’s been nominated for Artist Of The Year. And sadly I gather the Divine Brown who’s up for a couple of gongs isn’t the Divine Brown we’re familiar with, so viewers shouldn’t go expecting a rendition of “Keep On Loving Hugh”.
A full list of the nominations can be found here. The awards air on March 29th, so Canadians have plenty of time to make other plans.
[via MuchMusic]

Related Nickelbashing: - Chad Kroeger wants to be a big rockstar, gets drunk and drives around in his car
- Nickelback’s lumbering climb to the top of the charts could break record, hearts
- Nickelback’s “Photograph” isn’t beyond parody after all

Possibly related:

1. Ozzy and Sharon to host next year’s Brit Awards

2. I suppose we have to mention the Brit Award nominations

3. Air Traffic get Belgian awards nomination after one gig

4. Amy Winehouse can’t get to the Grammy Awards… but wins everything anyway

5. Amy Winehouse performs “Love Is A Losing Game” at The Brit Awards

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Posted by Stuart Waterman on Wednesday February 4th, 2009 at 12:00 pm