Can You Gig It?: The Parlotones @ Kings Cross Water Rats, London, 2.7.08

I’ll start this review by saying straight out that South African rockers The Parlotones are not my cup of tea. At all. They are, however, some people’s cup of tea - and those people appear to be very passionate about them indeed.
I think the majority of fans at this show must have been South African ex-pats cheering on their boys, because the reception the band received couldn’t have been much more rousing had they come on stage and played a set of songs that cured cancer. So why was I left cold?

Well, as mainstream-targeted as The Parlotones’ material is, there doesn’t seem to be much substance to it. Too many of their moves are recognisably well-worn - the over-expressive, outstretched arms; the Hives-esque shirt/tie uniform; lyrics so blatantly feel good that they forego subtlety entirely (that’ll be “Beautiful”, then - “you are beautiful”, etc)…
All of which could be sparkling positives if they were done with some cutting edge or inspiration. But to me the posturing seemed empty and primed more for the soundtrack of One Tree Hill than the souls of listeners. They’re one of those bands whose songs probably make a lot more sense in enormodomes than small spit n’ sawdust venues, and they probably know it.
Which is not to say they have no chance of success - given a decent push they have plenty of tunes that would fit perfectly well on daytime radio/MTV. The opener last night, “Louder Than Bombs”, is one of several overwrought numbers that could prove a guilty pleasure down the line. Similarly “Overexposed”, with its gimmicky feline growl, could settle on the internal jukebox of many an FM rock fan.
All of which places The Parlotones as perfect graduates to the Snow Patrol class of pseudo-heartfelt, unchallenging arena rock. I’m afraid I won’t be signing their yearbook.
[image: The Parlotones' MySpace]