Over the years, David Bowie’s done it all. He’s been a trashy maverick. He’s used art in his music and somehow made it accessible enough for the masses to swallow. He’s sold a squillion records. He’s had his teeth done. He’s hopped around the genres with wild abandon. He’s created stone-cold pop classics. Hell, he’s collaborated with Bing Crosby! So why don’t I really like him?
For all the plus points of Bowie, there’s something holding me back. I’ve never been one for rock ‘n’ roll theatrics, preferring my singers to wear jeans and look like one of ‘us’. That said, it’s never stopped me digging the sounds of Sly and the Family Stone and Funkadelic, who look like they’ve just landed from some mysterious planet. There’s no doubting that Bowie possesses one of the most brilliant and soulful voices in rock history… and man, his back catalogue is to die for. However…

Even though Bowie ticks just about every single box, I just can’t love him. Sure ’nuff, I love SOME of his songs - “Life On Mars” is a masterpiece. “The Man Who Sold The World” is eerie and fractured brilliance. I even love “I Can’t Stop Thinking About Me”, from when he was trying his hand at being a mod. I love the fact that he’s not gone down the boring dadrocker route and he’s still trying to push the envelope. I mean, I can’t think of anyone else who would dare make a drum ‘n’ bass LP at his vintage.
However, for me, there is a vital ingredient that is missing - and that’s danger. I watched the Ziggy Stardust flick recently, and it showed a youthful, vibrant Bowie gyrating and strutting near-naked in knee-high boots and space doll make-up. However, that was a brief flash in his career as a whole. Even though I’m willing to pay my dues on that score, it seems that Bowie has always played the ‘I’m a bit weird and out there’ card. Everything he does seems controlled and super thought-out. Now, there’s many of you who will love that aspect of him, maybe likening it to the way a painter controls each stroke; but for me, I just want Dave to take a wild stab in the dark and act on a hunch. Create a punk LP. Dammit, do an LP with Atari Teenage Riot. Make a stupid amount of dumb rock ‘n’ roll. Anything. Jus’ scare me… jus’ once.
Bowie has aged like a fine wine, complex and interesting… but sometimes, you just wanna get drunk on the cheapest booze available and lie face-down, sniggering. If Bowie does that, I’ll be a huge hypocrite and tell everyone just how brilliant he is.

Possibly related:

1. I Thought You Were Dead! - Craig David returns with “Hot Stuff”, hands royalties to David Bowie

2. I Don’t Like Them As Much As I’m Supposed To - Arcade Fire

3. It’s Good To Talkshow - Davie Bowie and Moby cover Pixies on Leno

4. I Don’t Like Them As Much As I’m Supposed To: Joy Division

5. The Greatest Song In The World This Week: Craig David - “6 of 1 Thing”

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Posted by Stuart Waterman on Wednesday February 6th, 2008 at 12:12 pm