There’s not much funnier than a naughty rapper who isn’t even famous enough to get away with being naughty. Maddest of props, then, to David Thomas Thornton, who took a 15-man entourage to a South Florida university talent show and managed to get himself charged with:

- aggravated assault
- possession of a firearm on school property
- grand theft of a firearm
- carrying a concealed weapon
- improper display of a firearm

It turns out that if you’re an aspiring rapper it’s really not OK to carry a loaded .357 Magnum around with you, and even more not OK to start waving it at people after they’ve booed you offstage for being so shit.

Full story at tampabay.com.

[via Fark] / [image: Michael@Privacy of the Mind on Flickr]

Posted by Stuart Waterman on Sunday April 5th, 2009 at 9:00 am

There are naughty rappers, and there are naughty rappers. In the scheme of rap naughtiness - which tends to run from overdoing the drugzngunz to all-out murderation - doing a poo while spitting a little flow is pretty small beer.
Nevertheless it is not the kind of thing my mum would like me to do, I’m fairly sure.
Kid Famous, in this video entitled “What I Wrote When Taking A Shit”, tells us that he has opened for Nas and written for Jay-Z; so assuming he’s not a big fat fibber he clearly has a bit of pedigree. And he does seem eager to be understood: “Do you understand the words that are coming out my mouth?” is as plaintive a plea as you are likely to hear today, I’d imagine.
I suppose the angle here is: “Hey you! Look what I can come up with while dropping a few brown bombs on the porcelain shore! You couldn’t do this even with your bum clean and pants up!”
Adjudge whether the Kid is as good as he reckons over the page…

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Posted by Stuart Waterman on Thursday October 9th, 2008 at 11:00 am

I had a mental week last week. I was out the other night telling everyone about it, expecting everyone to be all like, “Wow man, you’re the coolest. You’re as cool as candy. Dude, you’re a cooligan”.
That’s what people usually say to me whenever I say pretty much anything. But oh no, some foo’ tried to steal my thunder between May 5th - 9th. They’re all like, “Shut the f*ck up. DMX done out diddy done done you this week, and that’s for realziosity.”
I was like, “whuh?” Then I read what DMX done done diddy done done last week, and I have to give him at least two props. He made an effort. It’s almost too close to call, in fact. I’ll let you decide - after the jump you can see what I got up to last week, put up against what DMX done done done done.

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Posted by Stuart Waterman on Tuesday May 13th, 2008 at 4:01 pm

Morning! Here’s a nice one to read as you munch your cornflakes.
Not for M.O.P the whole semi-autobiographical, rags-to-riches movie route. Nah, when it comes to producing movies, the “Ante Up” hip-hoppers are heading straight to the porno report Idolator.
After doing a spot of acting in a film produced by Damon Dash, the pair are now working towards the release of a movie called Creepers.
“It’s about when you catch a chick cheating and you can’t believe that you’re seeing your girl’s ass get busted,” says M.O.P fellow Billy Danze.

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Posted by Stuart Waterman on Friday April 11th, 2008 at 9:00 am

That’s not very nice, is it? How would 50 masticate all the stuff from the Candy Shop with no gnashers?
But believe you me, this is just the latest in a long, pointless, bitter beef between the two rap chaps. It got me thinking - can they even remember why they hate each other so? Did it all begin with something trivial, like maybe 50 borrowed Joe’s pen and forgot to give it back but Joe was too proud to ask for it back and maybe then he saw 50 using it at a fan signing or something and then got all bitter about it and was like, no way?
Conjecture, all of it. I needed facts - if not solid ones, then at least some that have been reported by semi-reliable sources. After a good 3 seconds of semi-coherent online searching on my part, I am pleased to be able to present you with The Story Of How 50 Cent And Fat Joe Fell Out. Read the whole sorry saga over the page.

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Posted by Stuart Waterman on Friday February 29th, 2008 at 12:30 pm