The Octopus Project’s “Wet Gold” video certainly delivers on the “wet” front

Poor Jane Bradley. I made her write about this ridiculous video by some people called The Octopus Project:

Apparently, there was a “pretty gnarly fog” when The Octopus Project filmed the video for “Wet Gold”. Maybe I shouldn’t let this choice of adjective irritate me such an inordinate amount. But I don’t think words like “gnarly” or “bodacious” should be used by anyone, except maybe Bill and Ted (of Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey fame), or kids on council estates pretending to be Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. That’s still on, right?

The concept for “Wet Gold” seems to be that the Octo-chaps are lost at sea, in a white rubber dinghy with a cutesy cartoon face. Like the milk carton from the video for Blur’s “Coffee and TV”. Except much cheaper and nowhere near as endearing.

While they’re battling the waves, with the dinghy singing a jaunty ditty about their predicament, on dry land there’s a dollybird doing semaphore. Which would make a sort of tenuous sense, except for the fact that she’s flanked by bizarre green “monsters” attired in the kind of panto costumes that would make most school nativities look like they’d been kitted out by the wardrobe mistresses of a big-budget West End musical.

At the grand finale of this baffling narrative, the boys are washed-up, bedraggled and unconscious, on a beach. Then some crustaceans potter about around them, their shells flashing an assortment of whimsical colours like some sort of psychedelic light show that I’m sure stoners would wet their knickers over.

Overall, I’m a bit bewildered. Although the song’s actually infuriatingly catchy.