George Michael’s “Things To Pack” list for his Abu Dhabi show

So, George Michael is apparently going to haul his stoned backside out of retirement, bless him. The reason? He just feels like it. Oh, and then there’s the $1.7 million. Suppose that might come in handy.
If I was one of the chumps who forked out a pretty penny to see Georgeo perform at his “final” gigs - tellingly entitled The Final Two - I might be feeling a little cheated right now. “I saw George Michael play his last ever gig… before he went off chasing dollars in the Middle East!” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.
Anyway, hearing this story I couldn’t help thinking of another UK music type who went to the Middle East to perform: poor old Grooverider. He had a couple of grammes of weed on him which he’d forgotten about, and ended up spending 10 months in jail.

It’s no great secret that George Michael enjoys smoking his brains out now and again, and while we enjoy his cheeky druggy shenanigans on these shores, they might not take as kindly to his dabblings in Abu Dhabi.
So, George - I’ve gone to the trub of jotting down what you need to take with you, because I know what you’re like, you’re off your bonce half the time and will forget something important:
- Clean underwear and socks
- AC adaptor
- Phone charger
- Travel iron
- Wet wipes
- Rennies
- NO MARIJUANA
- Passport
- NOT EVEN A CRUMB OF CRACK COCAINE
- Travel-sized shower gel and shampoo
- “Choose Life” t-shirt
Have a safe trip, George!