Last month Paul Roffey reported from the Knowsley Hall festival. This month he's answering questions about his jaunt to Benicassim in the slightly more glamorous surroundings of Foreignland (Spain, to be precise). Do you think it rained there, readers? Whaddya reckon??

1. Kindly tell us your name, age and where you’re from. Now.

Paul Roffey, 28, West Didsbury, Manchester.

2. Which festival have you recently attended?

Festival Internacional de Benicassim (FIB) 2007.

3. Have you attended this festival before? If yes, how does this year compare?

No.

4. Which act gave the best performance, and why?

Got to be the Arctic Monkeys. They've improved so much live - real tight, real good!

5. If you could have promoted one act on the bill to headline status, who would you choose? Why?

Probably Who Made Who. They stood in for Klaxons on their main stage spot and were excellent.

6. Did your opinion of any acts change radically as a result of their performance?

Yes, I love the Kings of Leon but those crazy Americans didn’t seem to put much effort in. Stuck to the spot you could say. The music was good but they seemed to lack enthusiasm. Those perdy’ lil boys need to go and get a big ole bag of enthusiasm!

7. Nicest surprise / biggest disappointment (music-related or otherwise)?

Nicest surprise was I never queued for beer, not once, ever... and Anthony and the Johnsons' cover of Beyonce’s "Crazy In Love". Biggest disappointment aside from Kings of Leon, and campsite bogs, and my mate managing to sunburn his lip and persist in licking it all week, was the sound for Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. I think the soundman needs to go on some sort of training course.

8. What was the best heckle you heard?

I heard some guy shout “Move you ugly bastard!” I thought he was shouting at Caleb from Kings Of Leon, only to realise I was in his way…

9. Any high-quality onstage banter you feel deserves highlighting?

I have to say the best onstage banter I have ever heard in my 15 years of gigs and festivals was from the singer from the Hives. He was truly Spinal Tap. "I will play you a song, you will like it or I will get my Rock and Roll Band to destroy you all!” Also: “You all love me, it's not your fault, but you do.” Cracking Swedish crazies.

10. What was the funniest moment (music-related or otherwise)?

Watching my mate bound around on stage in a bright pink t-shirt trying to kiss Iggy Pop was one, but there were many... all week.

11. Weirdest moment (if different)?

Losing one Converse in the ruckus at the front of Arctic Monkeys gig, then having to try and find it afterwards - impossible. I did manage to find a nice size 9 Quicksilver flip-flop though. I could have also pimped myself up with a melee of jewellery, a pair of diamante flip-flops and several nice vests. I even found a pair of shorts…

12. Any moments of sheer terror you’d like to share?

When my mate asked if I would like to borrow his lip cream... which he had also used to soothe his anal chafing. Please god, put me out of my misery!

13. Anything you wish you’d brought with you?

A truck. We weren’t prepared for camping at all. Something to sit on, something to lie on, cooler bag for beers, decent torch, someone to look after my mate with the burnt lip... just a few things.

14. Anything you wish you’d left behind?

I left my tent and towels, I just wish I left my mate with them...

15. Please mark the following elements out of 10, with any comments:

General facilities:

10/10 for the festival as a whole.

8/10 for the campsite, going down to 2/10 when everybody got drunk and made a right old mess.

Crowd / audience:

9/10. The crowds at Benicassim seemed to be more relaxed and up for a good time than cold wet English festivals.

Food and drink value for money:

Drink 6/10. A bit expensive, and the extra large beers in warm weather get warm, fast. So buying more smaller beers soaks up your tickets, fast.

Food 5/10. A bit expensive but better quality than UK festivals.

16. Finally – anything else you’d like to mention?

Having been to every V Festival since time began, I will be no longer going. The Spanish know how to organise a festival, although 90% of the audience seemed to be from UK. The sunshine, beautiful backdrop, four days of top bands and beach make for a festival that is 500 times better. The dusty campsite and constant grubbiness of a week's camping is not good, but can be lived with.

Thanks for taking part in our humble questionnaire. Your place in heaven is assured (assuming you haven’t previously murdered anyone).

Have you attended a festival? Would you like to undergo some In-Tents Questioning? Get in touch at stuart(at)shinymedia.com! You too could see yourself all up in the internet! "Woot"!

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