My Chemical Toilet

A non-cut-out-and-keep guide to the "Best New Band as supported by BBC1" category at the Shockwaves NME Awards 2008

Catchy post title, eh? God bless corporate sponsorship. I remember the days when it would have been "Best New Band At The Brats", you know. Anyway.

2008's Shockwaves NME Awards take place tomorrow night, providing a notional alternative to The Brits' cosy choices of who's moving and shaking this music world of ours. And while people are always going to whine about NME's take on things, and the narrow outlook of its readership, it does at least allow the next generation of, well, Brits winners a chance to justify the hype that's been spewed out on their behalf over the last year or so.

Clearly Arctic Monkeys are going to drunkenly stumble off with most of the gongs, so I'm going to look at the nominees for Best New Band supported by BBC Radio 1, previous winners of which have included such established sorts as the aforementioned Monkeys and superstar dullards Coldplay. And don't worry, the terrifyingly dangerous young man above isn't nominated for anything.

Click through for literally everything you need to know about the nominees...

Watch MTV from back when it was new and big-haired

How's this for a mash-up of past and present? Some soul has uploaded three whole hours of gen-u-ine MTV from 1983 for your enjoyment / amusement / boredom onto Google Video. This is from the days when MTV had actual presenters (or "VJs"), and showed actual music videos rather than The Hills 24/7. Kansas! Huey Lewis! Awkward links! Lousy commercials! It's all right here.

Anyway, if you have an hour and a half to spare - and who doesn't? - check out the first half below. You can see the second half here, if the novelty hasn't worn off after ninety minutes.

[via Torr]

It's Good To Talkshow face-off: Kate Nash v. MGMT

There seem to be a lot of quality musical performances coming from the talkshows across the pond these days. A by-product of the writers' strike, perhaps?

Well anyway, I couldn't choose between these two, so I'm posting them both. Nash's "Foundations" seems a lot warmer when she performs it live, as you can see on The Late Late Show over the page - the sass is softened by the heart when she's sat there at her keyboard, I think. Her album has just gone Top 40 Stateside, which is no mean feat for an artist so heavy on Brit-slang.

Meanwhile NYC band MGMT made their debut on Letterman last week in a fetching collection of capes. But don't let that put you off - "Time To Pretend" is a laidback but uplifting psychedelic pop-rock number not a million miles from The Flaming Lips.

Watch both performances after the jump.

It's Good To Talkshow special: Conan O'Brien becomes his own musical guest

I'm sure you'll be very aware of the TV writers' strike across the pond. I certainly am. It's the reason I haven't been able to "acquire" new episodes of The US Office since mid-frickin' November. I MISS IT. Anyway, as TV Scoop have noted recently, the various late-night talk shows have been among the worst hit, depending as they do on funny writer folk to come up with, well, pretty much everything.

The result is that, returning to work in part to safeguard the non-writing jobs of their other staff, the presenters are needing to come up with a lot more of their own material than they've probably needed to since they last did stand-up.

BBC Four goes music mad... and shows Beat Girl film!

BBC Four's latest themed season, Pop Britannia, has been going great guns so far, with a mixture of decent docs and cheesy Britsploitation movies (like Espresso Bongo). Well, this week is going to be even better with a couple of ace documentaries of the mechanics of the pop song (see here) and the showing of the super rare and once controversial Beat Girl movie (complete with ace John Barry soundtrack). The (B) movie is on at 7:40pm on Friday 11th January on BBC4. [video: absolutnut] [Via ElectricRoulette]

As more Beatles songs are licensed for advertising, which UK ad campaigns could they soundtrack?

So it looks like Sony/ATV, who hold the copyrights to the majority of Lennon & McCartney songs, are gradually allowing more and more "interpolations" of Beatles songs in other artists' recordings and - gasp - advertising. This very thorough Reuters article cites Wu Tang Clan's recent use of "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" and Luvs Diapers' current ad campaign which declares (steel yourself), "All You Need Is Luvs".

Unsurprisingly, Sony/ATV head Martin Bandier, who decides where the Beatles' back catalogue can / can't be used, isn't averse to licensing (i.e. "cashing in on") Beatles tracks to artists and ad agencies. Most of the useage so far has been in the States where, one would imagine, the bucks are much bigger than here in the Beatles' homeland.

But, as they say, what happens over there happens over here eventually - plus, with record sales falling record companies are bound to look at an increasing number of alternative sources of revenue. Which means you can probably expect Beatles songs to feature more prominently in the Corrie ad break over the next few years

OK, so let's think - what UK ad campaigns could benefit from a little Beatles boost?

"Strawberry Fields Forever" - I'm seeing Nesquik, I'm seeing fields, I'm seeing fields made of Nesquik. Forever.

"Twist and Shout" - I'd say the fact this song may be available begs someone to come up with "Extreme Twister".

"Come Together" - Would go nicely in a spot for those Durex vibrating rings and things, I reckon.

"When I'm 64" - Viagra, obviously.

"Help!" - The Samaritans, obviously.

Click over for more...

Kaiser Chiefs collaborate with Irish Guards on Jools Holland's Hootenanny

Of course, since you're such a hip young thing, you were out and about on New Year's Eve drinking and partying and trying to fight off the creeping sense of anti-climax.

Which means you'll have missed Jools Holland's Hootenanny thing (because you can't work the video / dvd / hard disc recorder either, remember?), where everyone gathers and pretends it's NYE even though it's recorded in July or something.

Anyway, here are the Kaiser Chiefs with some bushy-headed Irish Guards doing "The Angry Mob". To be honest it's not that amazing, and therefore fits in with the NYE vibe perfectly. Hurrah!

[via The Music Slut]

[video: HarryStottle]

Forwarding Fodder: Fur Q's "Uzi Lover" on The Day Today

1994's The Day Today was, and shall forever be, one of the greatest comedy series ever ever ever. Ever. It took the piss out of pretty much every aspect of TV news, and music didn't escape.

The Fur Q sketch was only a minute and a half long, but anybody who sees it instantly feels the need to share it with their mates - so it's fortunate that there are kindly souls around to nick it and put it on ver Tube.

From the Phil Collins sample (sounded ridiculous at the time - then this happened), to the none-more-macho lyrics ("Uzi like a metal dick in my hand, magazine like a big testicle gland"), to the music critic defending onstage murders as "ironic", the segment nailed gangsta rap perfectly. This chap really was a naughty rapper.

This will brighten your day. Check it out after the click.

Under The Covers - Mark Ronson & Charlie Waller of The Rumble Strips go "Back To Black"

I suspect I may be the only person in Christendom who didn't see any of the Electric Proms stuff on TV. I'm just soooo busy, yah? Anyway, if you've seen this video a billion times already, feel free to proceed to the next item. If you haven't - it is very very good and you should watch it. If that wasn't obvious enough already by the fact that I've posted it here. I am babbling. Enough.

Mark Ronson & Charlie from Rumble Strips 'Back To Black'
Uploaded by bigbraintv

[video provided by bigbraintv]

Centre Stage From The Basement on Sky Arts: new music show for TV

When it comes to regular music shows on TV, we're down to severely slim pickings at the moment. There are some great one-off documentaries and series - such as the Folk/Jazz Britannia strand on BBC Four, and Seven Ages Of Rock - but in terms of tuning in every single week to see live performances, there's very little to choose from. Top Of The Pops was flagging for months if not years before it finally came off our screens, but nothing has really filled the gap.

Later... with Jools Holland has its good weeks, but there seem to be more and more bad weeks these days, to be honest. Sound, on BBC Three, is probably the nearest thing we have to a proper music show - live performances from all sorts of genres, as well as interviews and footage from Jo Whiley's Live Lounge - but it suffers from trying to be too 'yoof'. If you just want to see amazing bands rocking out, then this new show, "Centre Stage: From The Basement", on Sky Arts will be for you.

Win X Factor prizes with availableforpanto.com!

Our sister site, Available For Panto, is devoted to the modern marvel that is reality tv. It is written by the comic genius that is Leila Johnston, author of "How To Worry Friends And Inconvenience People", and is flaming hilarious.

Anyway, if you click over there today you will have the chance to win tickets to the X Factor tour - PLUS one lucky swine (and guest) will get to have lunch with one of the show's contestants. Why, it's a prize any stalker worth their salt would want.

Click here to see details of how to win - you only have until Sunday to enter!

Sigur Ros - recent interview form patchy at best - feature in Culture Show Special

Big news for fans of Pingu-style warbling - tonight Sigur Ros will be only the second artist to ever have an entire edition of The Culture Show devoted to them.

The thirty-minute show will feature performances, interviews and clips from their film "Heima", which is out on DVD now.

Hang on - did someone say "interviews"? Are they nuts? Anyone who knows anything about Sigur Ros will be aware of their recent non-interview on NPR. If you don't know what I'm on about, go here and see if you can sit through the most uncomfortable five-and-a-half minutes you're likely to witness this week.

You can catch The Culture Show on BBC2 tonight at 11.50.

Amy Winehouse's MTV EMA performance prompts open letter from Shiny Media employee

My colleague over at Dollymix, the magnificent Cate Sevilla, is pretty cut up over Amy Winehouse's descent into... well, whatever mess she's in this week. Wino's recent performance at the MTV EMAs (which you can see after the jump) was the last straw. Take it away, Cate:

An open letter to Amy Winehouse about her performance at the MTV European Music Awards

Dear Amy Winehouse,

Hi! It's me, Cate. I know we don't actually know each other, but I've bought two of your CDs, and well, I sort of like you, Amy. Over the past few months things have been sort of shaky. You got married, and then next thing we know you're running through the streets of London in your tattered pink ballerina slippers, dripping Rimmel liquid eyeliner and blood everywhere. Now, I may not be a doctor or a psychologist, but I think you may have a problem.

The one thing that sets you apart from all the other Hollywood crackheads like Lindsay and Britney is that you actually have talent. Girlfriend, you can totally sing. And lets be honest, you have hair, so, that already makes you better than Britney. However, you know when everyone made fun of Britney Spears' crap performance on the VMAs? Well, after watching your performance of Back To Black at the MTV European Music Awards, you made her look like a freakin' pro. You couldn't remember the lyrics and when you did manage to remember the words, you wailed them in the most disturbing, off-key voice I've ever heard. I'm afraid the sound of you shouting, "Goo-BAAAI wifff weerrrdz" will forever echo in my ears.

Sister, go to rehab...

Cate
xx

Was the BBCs Carling Weekend coverage the worst ever?

After watching the coverage of the Reading/Leeds Carling Weekend on the BBC at the weekend, it struck me that Auntie's coverage was hitting new lows. For the most part, the choice of band to watch was uninspired. Sticking to only those with big records out (or the NME's soup de jour) and the headliners, rarely giving the smaller, more interesting bands a chance. However, that was the least of my worries. The bands weren't even a blip on the radar when compared with the dismal presenting.

The biggest culprit of the shambolic shows was Edith Bowman. Meandering in thought, often looking far too... err... I'll say tired to avoid legal action... to ever really do a decent job and completely free of any kind of charisma. So, maybe we should look to the back up presenters? Well, Colin Murray didn't help by virtue of the fact that he is the second smuggest man on TV. First place? Zane Lowe, also presenting. Bizarrely, we were left with the ridiculous Rufus Hound, complete with drab waistcoat, daft moustache (no son, you look nothing like Billy Childish... you look more like the product of an orgy between Kaiser Chiefs and a walrus), trying to hold everything together.

Glastonbury media round-up: Peaches Geldof video diary, BBC coverage, XFM & Guardian blogs

- The music has begun already - yesterday Candie Payne and The Blood Arm were among those acts kicking off the action on the smaller stages

- The Killers will probably see Glastonbury's rain as sweet relief after their recent experience with a freak tornado in Venice

- Good old Peaches Geldof will be slumming it in the backstage areas and recording her experiences for a video diary - you can thank phone network Orange for that little treatlet

- XFM and The Guardian are keeping blogs from within the mud / cosy press areas

- The Guardian also offers an interview with this year's "huh?" headliner, Shirley Bassey...

- ... and an appeal for advice from a Glastonbury virgin - worth reading for the comments

- The Times offers a guide to who's performing when; while the BBC's TV / Radio coverage is laid out here

- Back at The Guardian there's a report on fools who disregard functional clothing in favour of fashionable fabulosity

- The National Youth Orchestra will be on hand to bring a little class to the proceedings on Sunday morning - lets hope they don't get mudcaked by the heathens, eh?

Channel 4 to continue festival coverage over the summer

With the festival season now fully underway and coverage of The Isle of Wight Festival, Download and Wireless under their belt, Channel 4 are continuing to bring us all the action and music over the summer season with extensive and exclusive coverage of the most talked-about music festivals and events of the year.

T4 on the Beach returns to Weston-super-Mare for the annual one-day event that brings together the cream of the UK and international music scene. Over 30 acts will be performing to a live audience of over 30,000. This year – and for the very first time – there will be two stages and a dance arena. The musical extravaganza will broadcast live for three-and-a-half hours on 22nd July. Steve Jones, Miquita Oliver and June Sarpong host the teeny event. Plus on E4 there will be an exclusive, access all areas, 60-minute after-party programme. And following the event, there will be further highlights programming across the channel and, for the first time, ten 15-minute diary style shows, following the artists as their T4 day by the sea unfolds... and that's not all.

Download Festival truly multi-metal-media

Metal legends Iron Maiden will have their headline performance at next weekend's Download festival streamed to fans worldwide as it happens, reports Blabbermouth.net. The Maiden, due to appear on Sunday 10th June, are apparently breaking a record by topping the bill for a fourth time at the festival formerly known as "Donington Monsters Of Rock", with the streaming of their performance presented free to fans around the world. And before you non-metal fans snort into your skinny jeans, consider this - Iron Maiden have sold over 70 MILLION ALBUMS worldwide.

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