My Chemical Toilet

Pop Heaven: Annie - "I Know Ur Girlfriend Hates Me"

So has Robyn stolen the space Annie was hoping to take in the charts, or has she just opened the doors for another Scandi-pop marvel?

Popjustice don't seem too impressed with this as a comeback single, but I think it's irresistible... until the ning-ning-ning bit, when it goes a bit wrong. But then it goes right again, so that's OK. In other news, Annie's forthcoming new album Don't Stop is supposed to be 'mazing.

Of note in the video: eye shadow that makes Annie look like Dame Barbara Cartland. Not a whole lot else, tbh. Check it out after the click.

Album review: Martina Topley-Bird - 'The Blue God'

Martina Topley-Bird has been around a while. She's been Tricky's partner in crime, sang with John Spencer Blues Explosion, Gorillaz and David Holmes. On the strength of her newest long player, 'The Blue God', she shouldn't have bothered as she's clearly at her best when creating sumptuous, adventurous pop music with Dangermouse.

Pop Heaven: Alphabeat - "10,000 Nights"

alphabeat_10,000_nights.gif They're not reinventing the wheel, Alphabeat, but there's something endearing about them and at the end of the day, Brian, how wrong can you go with catchy songs performed with real instruments?

It's probably been said elsewhere previously, but the front two strike me as mainstream pop music's equivalent of Saturday night psycho-siblings Same Difference. Somehow, that's a good thing.

Anyway, "10,00 Nights" obviously isn't as good as "Fascination", but not much is. You can tell in the video that curly parting man desperately wants to do some more of that "gay abandon" dancing from the "Fascination" video, but the tone of the song won't allow it because it's a bit more serious and that. Check it out by clicking over.

Ladytron's new single "Black Cat" is menacing digital heaven

Electronic pop is going through a bit of a boom at the moment with ver kidz gettin' down and dirty with The Knife and all the Ed Banger rekkids. Oft overlooked are the wonderful Ladytron who have a new single coming out by the name of 'Black Cat'... and guess what? You can hear it for free!

Pop Heaven: Robyn and The Knife create Swedish synth superness on "Who's That Girl"

This is quite exciting. Two of Sweden's best acts, Robyn and The Knife, have collaborated for the popster's latest single "Who's That Girl".

It works really well I think, and why shouldn't it? With The Knife's whole thing being the treading of the line between pop/avant garde oddness, it's not that great a stretch to imagine them appearing on a chart hit. And this will be a chart hit alright, once it's released on 14th April. By the way, Arjan from ArjanWrites.com has a podcast interview with Robyn at the moment.

Check out "Who's That Girl"'s synthy pop goodness over the page. Don't worry, The Knife don't make an appearance so there are no scary masks to ruin your enjoyment.

Pop Heaven: Alphabeat - "Fascination"

Imagine High School Musical 3: The Vaguely Indie Threequel, and you'll get some idea of what this song / video combination from Alphabeat is all about. Jesus, LOOK at that guy's dancing. I want to hate it, but I can't. HE LOOKS LIKE HE FEELS SO FREE.

Yeah, anyway, this song is already in the Top 10, and has apparently been doing the rounds amongst folk "in the know" for around 34 years, but I've only just stumbled across it. So you've probably seen this rainbowtastic video loads of times already, but if not, prepare for Bucks Fizz levels of technicolourfulness.

[video: charismarecords]

Non-SXSW article: Britney Spears goes all Manga in new video for "Break The Ice"

Is it callous to include SXSW in every article at the moment just to get the hits up? Who cares! Britney Spears, a person whose name I consistently type in wrong on first stab (Briteny) has a new track out, and what with her being unwell, instead of going through all that filming, she's gone and turned herself Manga-esque. The track, 'Break The Ice' might not be my bag, but the video is pretty swish. Watch it now.

[video: cravenarms]

Pop Heaven: Clip of new Annie track "Girlfriend" appears on MySpace

A few years back, I proclaimed to a table of utterly uninterested friends that Annie was going to be a massive popstar within twelve months. I am glad the friends weren't really listening, because I was just about as wrong as it's possible to be.

However, Annie did get a fair amount of blog loving, and her track "Heartbeat" from debut album Anniemal even got Pitchfork's Single Of The Year award for 2004. Basically, since then everyone who tipped her the first time around has been waiting for to come back and prove them right.

And now she is back-ish. A clip of the song "Girlfriend" has surfaced on her MySpace, and it's a pleasing dose of Richard X-produced electro-pop topped by Annie's typically fragile falsetto. Good to hear she hasn't become a baritone over the last few years, then.

Go here to give the clip a listen - with an album slated for April more stuff should surface soon...

[via Popjustice]

Pop Heaven: Sam Sparro - "Black And Gold"

Sam Sparro is this week's saviour of pop music. "Black And Gold" is a grown-up sounding type of number, which doesn't mean he writes songs about mortgages and school fees, but does mean he writes songs about, er, black. And gold. OK, I haven't listened to the lyrics very closely. But the song's very good, and in the video he's got a shirt festooned with lights. JEALOUS.

[video: islandrecords]

[via Popjustice]

Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body" video is bringing unicorns back

Here she is then, Miss Mucky Diva boots. This video features all the things that Mariah Carey clips should, by law, contain:

- A mansion

- A nerd who is bamboozled by the sight of Mariah in her undercrackers

- Mariah dressed as a princess

- A unicorn. That's right, a UNICORN, motherflickers

See the typically subdued video over the page.

Pop Heaven: Estelle featuring Kanye West - "American Boy"

Kanye's journey into cliched pimpitude continues with a fur coat here, but let's face it, he can do pretty much what he wants these days and get away with it. Estelle's journey to superstardom, meanwhile, probably isn't going to be harmed by this rather slick video. The track still sounds like a smash to these ears, as well...Lovely flock wallpaper around 3:30, an' all. BRAPPP.

[via Popjustice]

[video: Adnaniraqi]

Pop Hell: The Oscars Best Song Nominations - just how bad are they, and which will win the Academy Award?

Honestly, as if sitting through and liveblogging The Brits the other night wasn't enough, now I've sat through the nominees for "Best Music (Song)" at this year's Oscars. This experience took about a tenth as much time, but was significantly more arduous. That gives you an idea of what's up for the golden statuette in the field of music this year.

I've applied a series of rigorous scientific tests to each ditty, most of which are derived from The Celine Dion Formula For Oscar Success. You can read my findings and then listen to each song below, should you wish to subject yourself to such an ordeal. Off we go:

''Falling Slowly'' from Once
Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova

Who sings it? Glen Hansard, who you may remember from such movies as The Commitments and... um... Once.

How enamoured is it with the glory of love? Extremely. We're talking acoustic guitar-levels of enamouration here.

How likely is it to become an anthem for recently-dumped females? Pretty good chance. It is "sensitive", after all.

Could Celine Dion have performed it? Far too understated for old Canada Lungs. More up Damien Rice's alley.

Will it win? Unlikely.

Should it win? Given what else is up, yes.

[video: FoxSearchlight]

Check out the rest over the page.

It's electro-grime time: Wiley's "Wearing My Rolex" is going to be massive

While listening to Kiss 100 this morning, I heard something I've never heard before. That would almost be worth posting about alone, given how many mornings I've cursed the radio after hearing the same nonsense all damn week.

It came from Wiley, who, last I knew, was coming a distant second to Dizzee Rascal in the "First Grime Superstar" contest a few years back.

But my God, this is very very good. Or "heavy". Or "heaveee blud". Following the likes of Kanye West and Dallas Austin adding house stylings to their hip-hop, this track sees the same kind of thing being done with grime, I suppose - although that particular genre gets the smallest look-in really, if we're honest. The track might remind you pretty strongly of Bodyrox and Luciana's hit "Yeah Yeah" from last year, but when Wiley's rhymes come in it takes it to a whole other level, in my opinion.

This is going to be huge, so you might as well get used to it by giving it a listen over the page.

Pop Heaven: Girls Aloud - "Can't Speak French". Ooh la la, etc

I would just like to say that, today, in my humble opinion, Girls Aloud are the best girl group in the last twenty years or something. There's every chance I won't think anything of the sort tomorrow, but let's not worry about that right now.

This video is a bit like what might happen if Vivienne Westwood dressed Bananarama up and sent them off to a "Dangerous Liaisons"-themed party. Except about fifty times hotter than that scenario has any right to be.

Oh yeah - the song's very catchy as well, but you can basically take that as read, can't you? Experience all the elements mentioned above over the page. WARNING: arousal may follow.

Pop Hell: "Hillary4U&Me;" - Hillary Clinton fan produces the cheesiest thing you've heard in your pitiful little life

Further proof here that politics and music not mixing should be made a universal law of the universal universe of things. If you thought the "Yes I Can" Obama campaign clip was vomitus in extremis, check out this unofficial video which a fan of Hillary Clinton named Gene Wang has produced.

Listening to this song, it's as if the last 30-odd years of music never happened. It's like the theme tune to a 60s sitcom, except it's performed - with gusto, mind you - by real, live kind-of-young people right here in the 21st century. And that's before we even get to the lyrics, which get quite specific about political matters while all the time being set to this remarkably cheesy melody. Bewildering.

Watch it after the click. But only once, 'kay?

New Panic At The Disco video: "Nine In The Afternoon"

Pseudo-emo whipping-boys Panic At The Disco are back, and they've shed the "!" from their name. Good move.

"Nine In The Afternoon" probably won't win them any fans from the black-hoodied section of society, but those kids are always skint anyway. It probably will gain them some love from Natasha Bedingfield fans though, because this is pretty much pure pop.

If I may return to my recurring obsession, "Songs That Might Possibly Be About Drugs" - this single has a video so eager to be taken as psychedelic that it's kind of like Oasis' "Whatever", except in real life, not animation. Jim-jams, golden elephants, pianists with polar bear heads - you name it. Also, note the lyric "eyes as big as the moon". That's all I'm saying.

[video: MedalForces]

New Mariah Carey single - "Touch My Body"

Let there be no doubt that Mariah Carey is rather fond of sexy sex. Her new single, a clip of which has landed on the internet, is rather lyrically raunchy.

"Put me on the floor, wrestle me around," she says in "Touch My Body". Imagine! If this snippet puts you in mind of dull R&B; pantathons worry not, however - the tune is actually quite a sweet, poppy confection and you won't feel like you have to be naked and covered in strawberries to enjoy it. Bravo. If you choose to do that, of course, that's up to you.

Listen to a wee bit of "Touch My Body" at Mazza Cazza'a MySpace

Want summer to come sooner? Then you need Sunny Day Sets Fire in your life!

Do you like your indie to really jangle? I'm not talking about the jangle of a corpse rattling a chain, but rather, the sun-kissed jingle and jangle of a classic Teenage Fanclub LP. If that's the case, you need to prick an ear up for Sunny Day Sets Fire.

SDSF (I'm only abbreviating because I'm insanely lazy) serve up lush psychedelic sunshine pop that doesn't really sound like anyone from the sixties, but rather, takes a fistful of the sixties spirit and dries it like a tomato in the sun. The group have a new single out called "End Of The Road" / "Lack Of View" (it's one of those old-fashioned double A-sides that are sadly missing from the world) which is taken from the band’s hotly tipped debut cut, Summer Palace. Pass the cream... boy gonna tan!

You wanna know something about the band? Like it's going to enhance your listening experience? Man, these records stand up for themselves... but hey, I won't short-change you. SDSF have five members all hailing from four different countries with two singles and an EP under their belt in the past two years. Multi-instrumentalists Mauro and Onyee met while working as ushers at a London cinema... the ball was in motion...

Pop Hell: The Hills' Heidi Montag's video cost less than her bikini

Popjustice have kindly alerted the world to the fact that one of The Hills' "stars", Heidi Montag, has shockingly used her TV exposure to embark upon a career in pop music.

The song, "Higher", is a thoroughly forgettable dose of fluff, with any catchy bits entirely undermined by the fact that the video appears to have been shot on a budget Currys camcorder. Also, Heidi has clearly been told to incorporate plenty of gesticulation by the "director", which means she spends too much time either waving her limbs about or rubbing her tum-tum as if she's a bit peckish.

You can at least check out her rack over the page, I suppose.

America is in love with Natasha Bedingfield's cynically repackaged Pocketful Of Sunshine

Natasha Bedingfield "NatBed" - as I absolutely refuse to call her - has entered the Billboard Album chart at number three with her new album Pocketful Of Sunshine. Er, which seems to be half of her second European album - N.B - plus a bunch of new US-targeted tracks. Blimey. They didn't fancy Sugababes, have given Girls Aloud a miss but choose the toothy blonde chick. Shocker.

Her success has apparently been helped by the inclusion of a collaboration with Sean Kingston on her album. This track, "Love Like This", doesn't appear on the European version of her album N.B. Still with me? It's not uncommon practice for labels to mess with the odd album track these days, with albums by big artists often being tailored for "maximum market penetration" and whatnot. However, redoing half of the album and renaming it is pretty ruthless. But it worked, so hooray.

Pop Heaven: David Jordan - "Sun Goes Down"

David Jordan looks a bit like Anna Ryder-Richardson impersonating Prince, which is actually how all nascent popstars should look. He's getting a fair bit of "love" on Radio 1 according to people who still listen to that particular station.

This song is very hard to categorize, which immediately makes it more interesting than most pop pap one encounters. I'm just going to place it in the category marked "rather good". Give it a listen.

[video: davidjordanmusic]

[via Popjustice]

Pop Heaven: H 'two' O Feat. Platnum - "What's It Gonna Be" is the latest ringtone-rave fave

H 'two' O trips off the tongue, doesn't it? I wonder if you're supposed to do air quotes any time you say their name.

"What's It Gonna Be" is, depending on your point of view, either the latest ringtone-rave certainty for a number one hit, or another example of UK Garage's current resurgence. I don't really care what the correct label is - I bloody love it, despite the fact I'm clearly going to be hearing it pumping out of souped-up motors and tinny mobiles on the back of the bus for the next four months.

The video features Turk from Scrubs and lots of school uniforms, a la that Cascada video from last year. But this clip features more writhing and underwear, so that's nice.

[video: Hard2Beat Records]

Three songs to cheer you up on "The Worst Day Of The Year"

Morning everyone, and welcome to The Worst Day Of The Yeeear! Yaaay! Isn't it nice of "the media" to remind you of this every year? Well, don't buy it. Don't give in. Tomorrow could be just as bad, if not worse than today. Honest. And next Monday? Imagine how much shit could befall you next Monday. Misery is not just for today you know - it's good for any day of the week / month / year.

That said, if you are having the blues today, over the page you'll fine three classic songs that are guaranteed* to cheer your miserable arse right up.

* Not a guarantee.

Move over Duffy, move over Adele... Martina Topley-Bird is ruling the roost in 2008

It seems that 2008 is all set to be soundtracked by girls, which is no bad thing. Out goes the faux-Britpopisms of boys in skinny jeans and in comes the sixties big beat and sweeping strings. Of course, Amy Winehouse and the beautiful Candie Payne have already kicked the ball in motion, and the likes of Adele and Duffy are getting good write-ups... but if there is any justice in the world, Martina Topley-Bird is going to become a household name.

Martina first came to our attention when she sang on Tricky's debut cut Maxinquaye, continuing on his Pre-Millennium Tension and Angels with Dirty Faces LPs. After a dust-up, the chanteuse went solo, and release her brilliant debut Quixotic which received rave reviews and was a finalist for the 2003 Mercury Music Prize. Not bad eh? Now, her The Blue God LP is set for release with a couple of stormers called Carnies and Shangri-La featuring. Click here to visit Martina Topley-Bird's MySpace page and be prepared to be blown away. This is pop... but not as we know it Jim. Let's make a star of this precious and wonderful talent.

Pop Heaven: Mary J. Blige vocalizes female passive-aggressiveness with "Just Fine"

OK, hands up. Who spiked Mary J's chai tea with Prozac? Because she's hella happy in this video, and, to be honest, it freaks me out a wee bit. I'm so used to associating her with drama and divaness that seeing her all breezy and, well, "just fine", makes me feel a bit like when the local drunk approaches you in the street in a good mood. You know the way it feels like they could just switch at any moment?

ANYWAY. Bligey's been nominated for a Grammy for this catchy little number, which gets a single release here on 28th January. Catch the vid over page.

Up-and-coming acts: Lykke Li may be a "Little Bit" special

You know you're on the right track when you get a Buzzfeed category all to yourself. So you can assume that the latest Swede on the block, Lykke Li, is "set to do big things in 2008" (© your chosen tabloid), as she managed just that last year (check it out here, where you'll read many frothing and more-well informed articles than this one).

Like most people I'm a bit resistant to big old piles of hype. Er, that's my excuse for not bothering to actually check out her music until now. But it's nice when something comes close to justifying the praise thrown at it - and I think that Li's "Little Bit", the video for which is over the page, does just that. I'm surprised the line "and for you I keep my legs apart" hasn't received more - ahem - exposure in the pimplesphere, mind.

My Chemical Toilet's Worst 15 Christmas Songs: Number 1 - Cliff Richard: "The Millennium Prayer"

Cliff, who funnily enough also featured in the song which began this countdown, didn't actually make it to the Christmas number one spot with this beast - he was beaten to it by Westlife. But no matter, he made it the next week, and that means - to me at least - that it qualifies as a Christmas song. Which means I am allowed to bestow upon it the title of WORST PIECE OF SHIT CHRISTMAS NONSENSE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF SEASONAL RUBBISH POO.

Of course, Cliff has much form in the Christmas song field. But, as nauseating as they were, at least the likes of "Mistletoe and Wine" and "Saviour's Day" were original compositions which brought to mind mince pies and bad jumpers, which is what Christmas means to most folk.

Basically just the Lord's Prayer set to the tune of "Auld Lang Syne", "Millennium Prayer" was weird in that it had possibly the cheapest, naffest video ever to hit number one. In case you were in any doubt that the song is about love and peace and all that, the video features WAR and FAMINE and DISASTER, because... Um, why is that, anyway?

My Chemical Toilet's Worst 15 Christmas Songs - Number 2: Newsong - "The Christmas Shoes"

"This song and video makes me want to punch an infant."

So says a YouTube commenter of this song. I'm glad they did, because it saves me from having to express a similar sentiment, the result of which would almost certainly be me shooting straight down to hell with no eggnog.

I mean, flipping heck. This one pulls out all the stops. Following yesterday's jolly little ode to death, this one amps up the tearjerkiness to 11 by incorporating the death of a parent, the grief of a child and the efforts of said nipper to buy his mum one last gift before the Grim Reaper carts her off. Merry Christmas!

Now, depending on whether you're a granite-hearted cynic (hi!) or the kind of person who tunes into Animal Hospital for a good weep, this song will either touch your heart or boil your blood. You can see the appropriately mushy video over the page.

My Chemical Toilet's Worst 15 Christmas Songs: Number 3 - Dr. Elmo: "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"

Grandma didn't just get run over, either. She died. Yes, it's that traditional theme for a Christmas song - death of a loved one. But fear not. Despite the family matriarch being found on Christmas morning with "hoof-prints on her forehead" (yes, that's in the lyrics), this song is rather a jolly little number.

This happy-go-lucky approach to kicking the bucket is emphasised by the video, in which Grandpa the widower can be seen whooping it up with some floozy while everyone else ponders whether to open Granny's Christmas presents. What a clan.

More ways to waste your Christmas money: Vic Reeves, Shaun The Sheep, X Factor, et-bloody-cetera

I've been banging on about the shabbiest Christmas songs in the history of history over the last couple of weeks, but you mustn't - MUSTN'T - forget that there's a whole slew of new crap being released this year hoping to enter the an(n)als of Christmas "Classics".

Our friends at the ceaselessly caustic Hecklerspray have throughtfully rounded up what you can spend your money on this year, along with betting odds. Which is handy if you have coins lying around after spending yourself into debt already this month.

My Chemical Toilet's Worst 15 Christmas Songs: Number 4 - Johnny Mathis: "When A Child Is Born"

I do love reading YouTube comments. You get a real insight into human nature and, sometimes, some guidance as to how to make the world a better place. On that subject, check out this gem, posted on the page for Johnny Mathis' Christmas crudfest:

"It's a peaceful song. If it was played more there'd be a lot less trouble in the world."

Let me tell you something. I can guarantee you that the opposite would be true. The reasons for this you will find over the page.

My Chemical Toilet's Top 15 Worst Christmas Songs: Number 5 - Slade: "Merry Christmas Everybody"

OK, I know loads of people like this song, but please bear with me. There's something about the repetition of Christmas songs that really annoys me. Every year, the same songs. You've heard them so many times that you can't even evaluate them as pieces of music anymore. I know, I know, I'm taking it all too seriously.

To me, the melody of Slade's "classic" is a bit too grim to for a Christmas song. Even the "everybody's having fun" bit - substitute it for, say, "and I'm gonna shoot you dead", and it fits just as well (if not better). I am quite aware that I am the only person in the Christmasverse who feels this way. Which makes it all the worse.

[video provided by maribel62]

Pop Heaven: Kate Nash - "Pumpkin Soup"

Well, this is a turn up for the books. I wasn't expecting to think anything more enthusiastic than "meh" about Kate Nash, but I love this song. It's a funky, horn-and-keyboard-laden ode to snogging and "stuff". The repetition of "I just want your kiss boy" gives the song an innocent ring which is then effectively dispelled by the line: "I'm not in love, I just want to be... touched". Wink wink, nudge nudge.

[video provided by natniss]

Posted by Stuart Waterman on December 17, 2025 10:19 AM in Pop Heaven / Pop Hell| Video
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Pop Heaven: Annie - "I Know Ur Girlfriend Hates Me"

Album review: Martina Topley-Bird - 'The Blue God'

Pop Heaven: Alphabeat - "10,000 Nights"

Ladytron's new single "Black Cat" is menacing digital heaven

Pop Heaven: Robyn and The Knife create Swedish synth superness on "Who's That Girl"

Pop Heaven: Alphabeat - "Fascination"

Non-SXSW article: Britney Spears goes all Manga in new video for "Break The Ice"

Pop Heaven: Clip of new Annie track "Girlfriend" appears on MySpace

Pop Heaven: Sam Sparro - "Black And Gold"

Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body" video is bringing unicorns back

Pop Heaven: Estelle featuring Kanye West - "American Boy"

Pop Hell: The Oscars Best Song Nominations - just how bad are they, and which will win the Academy Award?

It's electro-grime time: Wiley's "Wearing My Rolex" is going to be massive

Pop Heaven: Girls Aloud - "Can't Speak French". Ooh la la, etc

Pop Hell: "Hillary4U&Me;" - Hillary Clinton fan produces the cheesiest thing you've heard in your pitiful little life

New Panic At The Disco video: "Nine In The Afternoon"

New Mariah Carey single - "Touch My Body"

Want summer to come sooner? Then you need Sunny Day Sets Fire in your life!

Pop Hell: The Hills' Heidi Montag's video cost less than her bikini

America is in love with Natasha Bedingfield's cynically repackaged Pocketful Of Sunshine

Pop Heaven: David Jordan - "Sun Goes Down"

Pop Heaven: H 'two' O Feat. Platnum - "What's It Gonna Be" is the latest ringtone-rave fave

Three songs to cheer you up on "The Worst Day Of The Year"

Move over Duffy, move over Adele... Martina Topley-Bird is ruling the roost in 2008

Pop Heaven: Mary J. Blige vocalizes female passive-aggressiveness with "Just Fine"

Up-and-coming acts: Lykke Li may be a "Little Bit" special

My Chemical Toilet's Worst 15 Christmas Songs: Number 1 - Cliff Richard: "The Millennium Prayer"

My Chemical Toilet's Worst 15 Christmas Songs - Number 2: Newsong - "The Christmas Shoes"

My Chemical Toilet's Worst 15 Christmas Songs: Number 3 - Dr. Elmo: "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"

More ways to waste your Christmas money: Vic Reeves, Shaun The Sheep, X Factor, et-bloody-cetera

My Chemical Toilet's Worst 15 Christmas Songs: Number 4 - Johnny Mathis: "When A Child Is Born"

My Chemical Toilet's Top 15 Worst Christmas Songs: Number 5 - Slade: "Merry Christmas Everybody"

Pop Heaven: Kate Nash - "Pumpkin Soup"