Festivals can be great fun. However, as much as a festival is your friend, it can also be your worst enemy. Here is a list of things that drive me mental about festivals.

Clearly Hilarious Hats

I'm sorry. What is it about a weekend in a field that drives people to sport ridiculous hats? Okay, this is a common complaint of festivals, but it's still valid. Imagine. You get a weekend away from work. You are surrounded by people shunning the package holiday and in the air is the soundtrack of your year. The only thing to do is pop a ridiculous hat on your head and show the world how wacky you are. The zany hat is the festival equivalent of the novelty tie.

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Stone Roses T Shirts

It doesn't matter which festival you go to, you are guaranteed to see some fool in a floppy sun hat sporting a Stone Roses T Shirt. Stella drinking luddites clinging on to a borrowed memory of Baggy and Madchester maraud around festivals shouting "Ave it!" and forgetting that The Stone Roses split up years ago... and weren't all that good

Students

There are some lovely university goers out there. Sadly, their loveliness means that they don't get noticed. Representing the people of further education are loud un-funny ones who like to throw themselves in puddles (again, to show everyone what carefree and fun filled sods they are) and stay up all night singing songs by shag sacks like The Killers. Usually found wearing shades in the rain and drinking Peach Schapps, these fools prove that the shallowest parts of the brook make the loudest noise. Give them an acoustic guitar and you'll hear Wonderwall whilst you try to sleep. Joy.

The Bands

Eh? Surely the sole reason one goes to a festival. Well, mostly, yes. However, think of those times when you have bands turning up and being awkward and playing obscure B Sides and grumpily grunting into the mic. Or the bands you have to endure while you wait for your favourite act. Or the ones who like to continually shout "HOW YOU FEELIN' GLASTONBERRY"

The Sound

Festival soundmen must have a nightmare. The wind cutting out the treble leaving you with nothing but muddy bass. Oh, and the sounds of everyone saying "This is shit..."

Ethics

It's a bitter pill to swallow at festival time. Talking to someone about saving the planet while their PA is rigged up to a generator spewing out children's tears. Hearing Eavis bleat on about the planet then watching REM swan in in a helicopter. Wave a peace sign by all means... do your bit by all means... but I hope those pills you're taking were Fairly Traded.

Disagree? Got any more irks? Let us know in the comments!

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