During the week, Simon Barrett is a respectable worker for The Brighton & Hove Argus. However at the weekends he likes to rock his socks off on tiny islands off the coast of mainland Britain. Lucky for him, then, that the weekend just gone saw Bestival light up the Isle Of Wight. Here’s his take on it.

1. Kindly tell us your name, age and where you’re from. Now.

Simon Barrett, 27, Brighton

2. Which festival have you recently attended?

Bestival

3. Have you attended this festival before? If yes, how does this year compare?

No

4. Which act gave the best performance, and why?

Primal Scream were awesome, especially the second half of their set. DJ Annie Mac really got the crowd going in one of the tents, a great atmosphere.

5. If you could have promoted one act on the bill to headline status, who would you choose? Why?

Alice Russell was fantastic, definitely one to watch.

6. Did your opinion of any acts change radically as a result of their performance?

Not as a result of performance, but a friend of mine interviewed the Dub Pistols as they came off stage and from what I’ve heard about it they clearly think they are bigger than the Rolling Stones…. won’t be paying to see them again. The Beastie Boys were, quite frankly, shit. Twice.

7. Nicest surprise / biggest disappointment (music-related or otherwise)?

Best surprise was catching The Metros after randomly walking past the BBC tent and being drawn in. Not heard their stuff before but I was transfixed and had to tear myself away to meet mates in time for Primal Scream. Scroobius Pip was disappointing because the sound quality was poor in the tent. Seen him before in smaller venues and he’s brilliant, but you need to hear the lyrics!

8. What was the best heckle you heard?

“No-one fucking cares, just play some music” - by a bloke lobbing 20 pence pieces at the last DJ in the last tent open on Sunday night who kept stopping the music to speak.

9. Any high-quality onstage banter you feel deserves highlighting?

A drunken Suggs coming out on stage during the Primal Scream set to tell the crowd “Fuck the Rolling Stones. Primal Scream are the best rock band on this planet”, before being bundled off.

10. What was the funniest moment (music-related or otherwise)?

Just the sight of everyone in fancy dress on the Saturday, so many brilliant outfits and such a good atmosphere.

11. Weirdest moment (if different)?

Seeing Pete Doherty, Sanjay from Eastenders and the bird out of Spaced in the crowd and wondering whether it actually was them or not. They weren’t all together, obviously…. that would be weird.

12. Any moments of sheer terror you’d like to share?

Getting to the ferry port on the way back at 2.30pm to be told the next available crossing was HALF PAST MIDNIGHT.

13. Anything you wish you’d brought with you?

Perhaps a different fancy dress costume. Will definitely put more thought into it next year.

14. Anything you wish you’d left behind?

My very heavy inflatable mattress, as I ended up kipping in a mate’s motor home for two nights anyway.

15. Please mark the following elements out of 10, with any comments:

General facilities: 9/10. Good sized festival set in a beautiful country park. Well lit campsites.

Crowd / audience: 10/10. Really good atmosphere, characterised by the massive fancy dress party - it brought out the best in everyone.

Food and drink value for money: 7.5/10 Good choice of food and queues never too big. Beer and cider fairly priced but other drinks were a bit pricey - AND I got charged a quid for some ice.

16. Finally – anything else you’d like to mention?

Highly recommended festival, perfect size and a really good atmosphere.

Thanks for taking part in our humble questionnaire. Your place in heaven is assured (assuming you haven’t previously murdered anyone).

Have you attended a festival? Would you like to undergo some In-Tents Questioning? Get in touch at stuart(at)shinymedia.com! You too could see yourself all up in the internet! "Woot"!

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