So Tesco and the Spice Girls are set to join forces to create a money-swallowing, world-slaying marketing monster. Oh, and to bring some music to a few people here and there as well. Remember that, music?

There's no doubt these two "brands" (euch) are well-suited to each other. Whether the sponsorship will extend to any US dates the Spices might schedule is at this point unclear, but with Tesco eager to crack the US market the Spice Girls would provide valuable exposure for the chain as it shapes up against the likes of Wal-Mart.

As for the Girls, not only do they get buckets of moolah, but also, I imagine, discounts on tubs of Ben & Jerry's to comfort them on the road after Scary and Ginger have another screaming match.

What other supermarket / musician teamings would prove beneficial to both parties? Can you see where this is going much?

1. Atomic Kitten / Iceland

Obviously Kezza Katona is already Iceland's golden girl, with her ads for prawn rings or whatever they do bringing delight across the land. If the Kittens reunite - as they surely must, because no successful act is allowed to just DIE for God's sake - Kezza's clout should be able to attract the chain to sponsor any ensuing tours. And bingo! As much coke and silicone as Kezza can get through! Let's not pretend anyone's interested in the other two.

2. Robbie Williams / Booker

Is Robbie teetotal these days? Is he mainlining mocha lattes? I can't keep up. Anyway, if he hooks up with the cash-and-carry giants Booker they'll be able to provide him with whatever he's using to abuse his system in bulk. Er, and they get some rock n' roll cred, which as we all know is what cash-and-carry chains dearly crave.

3. Ozzy Osbourne / Asda

There's a family connection there already, with Shazza having already appeared in 4,712 TV ads for the Wal-Mart-owned UK supermarket. But what if this relationship went one step further? What if Ozzy somehow managed to drag his trembling frame out on tour, and, as part of one of his new songs, Shazza came out on stage and started smacking her arse pocket, which is full of change? What sort of ground-breaking percussion-based commercial partnership would that signify? Hmm?

4. Keane / Waitrose

Poor old Keane. They do get a hard time, what with people painting them as middle-class mummy's boys from the home counties who look like they're still in school and play conkers and make music for people who worry about what kind of olive oil they should buy tonight because Alan and Felicity are coming over for dinner and what kind of wine does Felicity like again and if they start talking about how well Josh is doing at school again I shall just SCREAM.

5. Bros / Kwik Save

Ah, Bros. They shone so bright for so little time, before going down the dumper and losing all their money in one of those complicated scandals where someone somewhere ends up rich and the "talent" ends up not.

Rather similar to the story of Kwik Save, if you will. The once-great (or at least fairly successful) chain went into administration earlier this year, even finding itself unable to pay staff at one point. These two one-great superpowers would surely be able to help each other back to some kind of acceptable mediocrity. And if former Kwik Save employees coming sniffing around for money they feel they're owed for doing actual work, the company can just get Bros in to do a video message performance of "I Owe You Nothing".

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