One of my, shall we say, "quirkier" presents this past Christmas was a t-shirt with the legend "Bitches Ain't Shit" emblazoned across it (see right). Aside from the fact that I work in an office full of women (making it off limits for daywear) and feel a bit old for hip-hop sloganeering, even of the ironic variety, it was a most thoughtful gift.

As I panicked over the thought of getting the sack should I wear the garment to the office, it struck me that this might be an ideal time to take a look at the post-modern nonsense that led to me receiving said item for Jesus' birthday.

"Bitches Ain't Shit" was a Dr Dre track featuring, among other chaps, Snoop Doggy Dogg (as was). Apparently it's a diss at the now-deceased Eazy-E, although to be honest this reading passed me by mainly because virtually every line of the track seems preoccupied with either a) bitches, b) hoes, c) bitches and hoes.

Looking at the lyrics the song comes across as almost a parody of gangsta rap, and was probably not too far from Chris Morris's mind when he came up with Fur-Q. Here you can listen to the original - you don't need me to tell you it's Not Safe For Work (Or Mum):

[video: md370]

Fast forward a decade and one of my friends, eager to show off the breadth of stuff he had stored on his *gasp* 20 GIGABYTE MP3 player, started raving about a Ben Folds cover of "Bitches Ain't Shit". I'm as bored by ironic covers as anyone, but there was something about this one that was a little different. It was... touching?! Applying the lyrics (sample: "I once had a bitch named Mandy May / Used ta be up in them guts like everyday") to a pretty piano-led melody, Folds reproduced the words exactly in a sweet, poignant voice, puncturing the preposterously macho sentiments of the original.

Now, at this point I'm tempted to get over-intellectual and say that turning a foul-mouthed gangsta rap song into a pretty little ditty somehow says something about how the content of hip-hop lyrics can often matter less than the percussive delivery of the rapper and the quality of the backing track. But if I did that I'd sound like a spod, so let's just see Ben Folds doing a rendition of the song for MySpace (keep an ear out for the cockney drummer, who gets a verse to himself):

[video: theSuburbsUK]

So anyway, the internet doing what it does, I suppose Folds's cover got around a fair bit. Last year an a cappella group called DeCadence hit the intertubes with their own version of Ben Fold's version (keep up) of Dr Dre's original, which you can see below. I am now awaiting a barbershop quartet version.

Whatever you think about the ironic appropriation of songs - and there is too much of it about - I think the life that this song has taken on in the last few years is quite interesting. It's never been released as a single in any of its incarnations, but you'll find loads of those cringe-inducing home videos of people making their own clips (complete with dodgy lip-syncing) on YouTube. In some quarters it's almost certainly Ben Folds' best-known song, whether he likes it or not, which might be a tad bittersweet for a guy who has a fair amount of stuff in his back catalogue.

And what about Dre - what does he think of punk-ass white kids taking the piss out of his stuff? I reckon he's probably mature enough to appreciate the nod these days, not to mention the royalties any time someone buys it from iTunes. I bet he didn't get royalties on my t-shirt, though.

Take it away, DeCadence:

[video: troatie]

Came straight to this page? Visit www.mychemicaltoilet.com for all the latest news.