Nothing says Glastonbury more than a brave lady holding a cardboard piss-tunnel. Right?

All you ladies who've snagged a ticket to Glasto should be having your very last visit to a real, live toilet that you don't have to queue for round about now. Touch the loo roll, savour the smell of clean. Because, as we all know, queuing is all part of the experience.

Until now. Because the infamous She-pee is back. If you haven't heard of this ingenious invention, you're probably a man. It's basically a female urinal, made to help girls avoid the loo line at festivals.

The She-pee first, er, burst onto the festival scene two years ago when Glasto had banks of ladies-only urinals, with special guards to keep boys away. Scary? Yes. Imagine: "Oh, this black eye? I was trying to piss next to a girl ... "

There are other urination-related products available, too. The Whiz is a cardboard funnel which enables girls to 'go' standing up. Like a boy. It can be used in conjunction with the aforementioned She-pee, or on its own (perhaps not in a crowd, though).

But wait, don't go - it gets sexier. The Go Bag is a bag with a pouch full of crystals that turn urine into a gel. So you've fought your way to the front to see the Arctic Monkeys, you hear the very first chord of the first song of the set, and nature calls. What to do? Well, use your Go Bag and keep your spot. You'll probably clear a bit of space, too. Just don't expect to pull.

If the portable loo-replacements aren't for you, you might just want to stick to Glastonbury's She-pees. So for She-pee virgins here are the tried and tested rules:

- Hold your breath by the urinals. The stench is so bad, you'll want to pass out.

- Don't make eye contact. This is not the ladies' at All Bar One.

- The urinal is not somewhere you go to do make-up, gossip or sort your hair out. There is no sadness like the mascara-drowning-in-piss sadness.

- Go in the biggest space - e.g., don't stand right next to anyone unless you have to. Some girls may not have full control of their stream.

- And finally - if you're using The Whiz when She-peeing, don't compare its size to any you see around you. If you're going to get competitive and insecure you might as well be a boy.

Came straight to this page? Visit www.mychemicaltoilet.com for all the latest news.

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://shinymedia.headshift.com/cgi-bin/mt4/mt-tb.cgi/38089

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Avoid queues for the loos - use a She-pee, a Whiz or a Go Bag:

Comments

The comments to this entry are closed.