Yesterday we heard from Abi, who was not terribly impressed with the O2 Wireless festival. Today we sample the opinion of someone who went on the same night - how did her experience compare? Her name is Issy, and she would like to make it clear that the muck you see on her hand is from the camera lens, and is not a result of any poor personal hygiene on her part. Delighted to clear that up.

1. Kindly tell us your name, age and where you’re from. Now.

I’m Issy, and I’m from Balham in South London. It’s lovely…

2. That's good to know. Which festival have you recently attended?

I attended Saturday at O2 Wireless, Hyde Park.

3. Have you attended this festival before? If yes, how does this year compare?

I have, and although the lineup was very different to the year before it was loads busier, and had a new tent. But it was kind of the same – i.e., same stages, same layout, same amount of kids wearing skinny jeans. Only a different beer sponsor.

4. Which act gave the best performance, and why?

I very much enjoyed Klaxons – they played in the XFM tent as the last act, and they were really loud and intense. People were queuing for an age to get in, and some people were even jumping the fence and squeezing under the sides of the tent – that’s how popular they were.

5. If you could have promoted one act on the bill to headline status, who would you choose? Why?

Klaxons. They were loads better live than they are on record, because they’re a lot less cool and loads more mental. So I’d have liked everyone to see them on the main stage. I reckon they could have made enough noise to challenge Daft Punk as a headline act…

6. Did your opinion of any acts change radically as a result of their performance?

I very much enjoyed Daft Punk, more than I thought I would. Maybe it was because I’d forgotten how much I liked their songs, or maybe it’s because they were dressed as robots. I do not know.

7. Nicest surprise / biggest disappointment (music-related or otherwise)?

Nicest surprise was that New Young Pony Club actually lived up to the hype. Some wanky XFM DJ said they’d written one of the best songs of all time, and while that was a big fat lie, I enjoyed the set as it was quite rocky, but also quite ravey. Yes, I said ravey.

8. What was the best heckle you heard?

When the XFM DJ claimed NYPC’s single was the best song ever written, some bloke behind me said: “Yeah, step back Lennon and McCartney, some 12 year-old with a ponytail’s written a song.”

And his mate said: “In crayons”. Cruel, but made be snort beer out of my nose through laughing.

9. Any high-quality onstage banter you feel deserves highlighting?

No, there was not. Or if there was, I have forgotten it.

10. What was the funniest moment (music-related or otherwise)?

Seeing loads of security guards chase a load of nu-rave kids around the XFM tent because they’d sneaked in under the sides instead of queuing. Fluoro pink is not a great disguise in the dark.

11. Weirdest moment (if different)?

I felt sad to see some young lads not understand the ‘no-glass-in-festivals’ idea, and have to tip the biggest bottle of vodka I’ve ever seen into the amnesty bin. It’s not Glasto – you can’t bring your own booze. Poor boys.

12. Any moments of sheer terror you’d like to share?

A personal frozen margarita one. But it’s not really for sharing – all I’ll say is pick a drink, and stick to it.

13. Anything you wish you’d brought with you?

That stuff you rub into your hands to clean them. They always run out of that in the loo. All-round good festival tip, I think.

14. Anything you wish you’d left behind?

My wellies. I drove to Hampshire to get them as it was raining in the morning, but when I got to Hyde Park it was sunny, and everyone was wearing flip-flops. Oh, I felt a fool.

15. Please mark the following elements out of 10, with any comments:

General facilities:
9 – very good loos, and lots of loo roll. Lots of bars, too, so no long queues.

Crowd / audience:
Were all wearing Raybans. And nu-rave colours. All very Peaches Geldof – which, in a way, was nice. There were no ridiculous beered-up shirt-off men. Hooray!

Food and drink value for money: Well, everything’s expensive, as usual. Beer £3 as usual, and a big variety of food. I had a nice posh pie which cost me £4, but I enjoyed it very much and it didn’t feel too processed and rancid.

(Ed: Issy is in the bad books for not giving marks out of ten for the latter two elements)

16. Finally – anything else you’d like to mention?

I liked CSS too, and Plan B did some ridiculous hip-hop covers (which I have now forgotten). I wish I didn’t have to queue for 30 minutes to get into the actual festival, but it cannot be helped.

Thanks for taking part in our humble questionnaire. Your place in heaven is assured (assuming you haven’t previously murdered anyone).

Have you attended a festival? Would you like to undergo some In-Tents Questioning? Get in touch at stuart(at)shinymedia.com! You too could see yourself all up in the internet! "Woot"!

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