The Music Choice Census 2007 is "the most comprehensive survey of European music taste and consumption". These words must be true because they appear in Music Choice's press release. Music Choice is apparently Europe's longest-standing legal digital music service. I should probably know that.

Here are six key findings from said census. Why six? It just turned out that way:

1. The number one song to bump uglies to is, not all that surprisingly, Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing". Rather more disturbing is that George Michael's grunty "I Want Your Sex" is also in the Top 10. Can I get an "Ew!"?

2. The song most people want played at their wedding is "Wonderful Tonight", by Eric Clapton. Respondents may have missed the suggestion in the lyrics that this number is about a lady helping her soused partner into bed while he slurs his whisky breath into her ear.

3.The number two wedding song is The Police's stalker classic, "Every Breath You Take". The suspicion that people are idiots is confirmed.

4. But at least they have "a sense of humour". The song people most wanted played at their funeral is apparently Monty Python's "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life", tied with Clappa's "Tears In Heaven". There's split vote for you.

5. 25% of people questioned would prefer to listen to their favourite music than make lovely love to their partners. Suggestion: if someone is making you choose between these two basic pleasures, you are with the wrong person.

6. I should pay surveys such as this no mind.

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